Gregory House quotes from House

House

Back off. Only Thirteen gets to grab my nipples this time.

House

Unless the next stanza reads "Hoping to fry my brain to death, I smoked some primo crystal meth," I'm not interested.

House

Hey, genius. I think it violates certain ethical laws to rip the organs out of a guy who's still alive. Possibly even certain law laws, too.

House

If he'd thought like me then he'd have known that living in misery sucks marginally less than dying in it.

House

[To Wilson] You manipulative bitch!

House

See, the problem with speculation is, you make a spec out of you and some guy named "lation." Which doesn't really affect me at all.

House

[while on his cell phone with a patient] I'm sorry but I'm about to lose you because I'm about to drive into a tunnel in a canyon on an airplane while hanging up the phone.

House

How come every time you compliment me it sounds like an accusation?

House

What exactly is the difference between pretending to cooperate and actually cooperating?

House

They didn't break me. I am broken.

House

Successes only last until someone screws them up. Failures are forever.

House

Things change. Doesn't mean they get better. You gotta make things better. You can't just keep talking and hope for the best.

House

Oh my God it's three years ago! — Does that mean I'm still crazy?

House

Really, I've got no idea what's wrong with her. So odds are... not fatal.

House

[giving his diagnosis on the phone] Now Cameron... pick up the phone and give me a dramatic exit.