[Arnold appears on a stage with the spotlight upon him]
[offscreen] Figaro, Figaro, Figaro!
Huh?
[steps out of the darkness, wearing fancy Rococo clothes] Figaro, Figaro, Figaro! [runs back into darkness]
Hey, Gerald, what are you doing? Where are you going? What's going on? [crying comes from the other side and Harold steps out, dressed as a clown] Harold? [turns around and sees Harold crying] Uh, are you alright?
Look at me, Arnold! Look at me! I'm a...I'm a... [sings] ...big ugly clown, oh! A big, sad ugly clown, oh! [cries and runs away]
[A scene of a small town in Italy appears and all the townspeople laugh at Harold as he runs away. Then all of them look up and gasp as Arnold's clothes change instantly to that of Don José]
Townspeople [gasps] It's Ruth! It's Ruth!
[dressed as Carmen, steps out, and slowly walks down the stairs halfway] I'm Ruth McCarmen, and awfully charmin'. [points to Arnold] I guess you've noticed by the way you stare. You're not bad either. [Arnold looks down and sees his new clothes] Let's take a breather, and we can talk about my auburn hair.
Her auburn hair! You're standing there. Why don't you introduce yourself to Ruth?
She's like a flower blossom.
I know, she's wicked awesome!
Come on, Arnold, it's the moment of truth! [pushes him to the foot of the stairs]
[pulls up his pants] My name's Don Arnold, [pulls out caramel bag] please have a caramel. [she takes one and flutters her lashes] Your hair is lovely, do you like my pants? [smiles, embarrassed] They're made of satin, [takes off cape] the cape's pure Latin. [a hanger comes down and he hangs it; it goes back up] I had it tailored in the south of France.
[Ruth giggles]
The south of France, your satin pants. [a cow picks Arnold up] Why don't you ask the lady for a dance?
It's time for your decision.
It's almost intermission.
Hey, Arnold, you better ask her to dance.
[they reach Ruth] Uhhh... [gets hit with a spitball; instantly wakes up] Hey, cut that out! Who's doing that?
[tucks the sling shot back in her shirt] I had to shut you up somehow. You were snoring louder than the orchestra.
[The students laugh]
Man, how far into it are we?
[looking at his tape] Beats me. I'm looking for something to listen to, until this thing is over. [puts on his headphones]
Second act. Now Carmen will convince Don José to desert from the army and join her band of gypsy smugglers. All goes okay for a while, but then this really handsome guy named Escamillo comes along.
[Helga falls asleep]
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Hey Arnold! quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hey Arnold! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.