Phoebe quotes from Hey Arnold!

Phoebe

You set her up on purpose?

Can't believe you do something that mean.

Helga

Hey, she was ruining my life!

Helga

You're more than just my sidekick. You're my best friend. I guess I forgot that.

Phoebe

Thanks, Helga. You're my best friend too.

What are you guys doing?

Helga

Doing? What does it look like we're doing, Hair Boy? We're taking a walk.

Taking a walk on my fire escape?

Helga

That's right, Football Head. On your fire escape. It's a free country, we can walk wherever we feel like. Right, Phoebe?

Phoebe

Uh, right!

Helga

Let's go.

Whatever you say, Helga.

Helga

This whole thing, it never happened.

Phoebe

Forgetting!

Phoebe

Ohayoo gozaimasu, Helga.

Helga

No Japanese today, Phoebe, I have a headache.

Phoebe

Oh, okay. English!

Helga

From now on, it's not all gonna be about me. Could you get the door?

Phoebe

Opening.

Helga

It's gonna be about me and you. As far as doing favors for each other, it's going to be Even Steven. Snag me one of those fruit cups.

Phoebe

Snagging.

Helga

From now on, everything is going to be much better. You'll see! No, not L, Phoebe. B, B, B.

Phoebe

Repressing.

Helga

Criminy, what a pathetic display.

Phoebe

I'm afraid I have to agree, Helga.

Helga

Guess Miss Rich and Fancy over there really did a number on him.

Rhonda

May I borrow the black paint, Helga?

Helga

Perfect. It'll match the color of your heart. [Holds up a paper plate with a black heart painted on it]

Rhonda

Excuse me?

Helga

You heard me, Cruella.

Rhonda

Unbelievable!

Rhonda

Prune cookies? Are you kidding?

My Grandma puts them in everything she bakes.

Whillikers, Arnold, I reckon prunes is just about the nastiest cookie flavor around.

Phoebe

Actually, prunes are enjoyed the world over by people of all ages, and despite their rather unpleasant appearance, they're really quite tasty. Not to mention, an excellent source of iron and a wonderful implement of dietary regulation.

Here, Phoebe, why don'tcha just take them?

Phoebe

Don't mind if I do. The iron may give me energy when I accept my award this afternoon. [chomps] Mmm, delicious!

What just happened — it's no big deal. I'm sure it happens all the time. And in fact, I bet there's not one single person we know that doesn't have an embarrassing fart story.

Phoebe

Well! Have you ever done it in public, Arnold? You know, pass gas?

No, not exactly. I mean, not into a microphone...

Phoebe

Then how can you possibly understand the utter humiliation of what I've just experienced?!

Look here, Phoebe, I know things may seem pretty bad right now, but trust me. By tomorrow, everyone may have forgotten all about what just happened.

Phoebe

Really?

I'm positive.

Phoebe

Maybe you're right, Arnold. Perhaps, by tomorrow, everyone may have forgotten about my little... indiscretion.

Phoebe

Arnold? What are you doing here?

Why, I was thinking about what a rough day you had, and I just want to make so sure that everything is OK.

Phoebe

Why, I'm just fine.

Really? That's good to hear!

Phoebe

Yup. Ever since I decided that I am never to go back to P.S. 118, I've been doing just great.

Never to go back to P.S. 118? Phoebe, don't you think you are overreacting?

Phoebe

No, Arnold. I think I'm being perfectly rational, considering the circumstances.

Come on, Phoebe, you know you can't run away from this farting thing.

Phoebe

Sorry, Arnold. I've made up my mind. As long as the other students continue to regard me as a gas-passer, I'm afraid I have no other choice than to turn the other cheek. So, no pun intended.

[sighs deeply]

Phoebe

Until three days ago, I was Phoebe Heyerdahl, fourth grader, straight-A student, and a good friend to a lot of you. But then something happened. [nervously] I accidentally... uh, well, I accidentally passed... went... [furiously] Heck, I'm just gonna say it! I farted! [the kids whistle and laugh] Yes, that's right! I "let one rip", I "honked a big jobber", "blew the tuba", "popped a whopper"! [the kids stop laughing as she gets serious] You all thought it was pretty funny. I guess if I were in your shoes, I'd think it was kind of funny too, but ever since then, I've gone from being Phoebe Heyerdahl to just "that girl who farted", and I don't think it's fair, because I'm more than that! If you ask me, I don't have anything to be ashamed of. I think you're the ones that should be ashamed! [leaves the stage]

Principal Wartz

Well, folks, I for one applaud Miss Heyerdahl for having the courage to stand up for herself, and I think you should, too. What do you say, gang?

Harold

I got something to say. Phoebe's a farter! Phoebe's a farter! [Laughs, then, quite suddenly, he wets his pants] Uh-oh.

Look! Harold wet his pants! [the kids laugh]

Harold wet his pants.

Harold

[bawls and fleeing the room] Mommy! Mommy!

Harold

[offscreen] OH, NO!