Oliver Oken quotes from Hannah Montana

Oliver

[referring to Jake] And when you told him you were Hannah he didn't faint? Not once?

Miley

Nope, steady as a rock, all man.

Oliver

Well, so am I, I just hadn't eaten that day

Jake

I'm a nobody. Like Oliver!

Oliver

Brilliant! ...Hey!

Jackson

I'm the man who had the cheese!

Oliver

I'm the man who had the jerky!

Jackson

We put 'em both together!

Oliver

And dude, it really work-y!

Cheese Jerky! Say what? [J] Say what? [O] (twice)

Oliver

Mozzarella moose, Swiss salmon, Gouda turkey!

Jackson

Just one taste, it'll drive you berserk-y!

Cheese Jerky! Say what? [J] Say what? [O]

Oliver

And it's all freaky-freaky-freaky fresh! (End of rap)

Jackson

Sizzlin' Stewart and Smokin' Oken Enterprises, patent pending.

Oliver

You got an army?

No..

Oliver

Good luck.

Rico

(banging on the counter) Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Oliver

No, you're not stupid. You just can't act.

Oliver

Face it Rico, we need a better Rico. (they both look at the kids who come to audition for the part)

(altogether) Hey oh hey oh!

Lilly

[after getting stuck to a chair with monster glue] Come here.

Oliver

No.

Lilly

Come here. No. I'm not gonna hurt you.

Oliver

That's what you always say before you hurt me!

Lilly

Get over here!!

Lilly

Did I mention I hate you?

Oliver

Thirty-seven times.

Lilly

If you make me miss that Maroon 5 concert I swear...

Oliver

You're not gonna miss it! Miley said she would be back... she'll probably be home any minute.

Miley

[on the answering machine] Lilly, are you there watering the plants? I tried your cell phone a bunch of times. Hey, I'm sorry but I'm not gonna make the concert. We decided to make a few stops along the way. I got a picture of the world's largest rubber band ball. That sucker is HUGE! Have a great time at the concert! Bye!

Lilly

[still stuck to the chair laying on the floor] I hate you.

Oliver

Thirty-eight.

Jackson

[in German interrogator-like voice] You vill tell me vhat I vant to know! The choice is vether you vill tell me before ze pain, or AFTER! Now vere is ze ball?!

Oliver

Uh- wh- what ball? [gives Lily a thumbs up]

Jackson

[in a whiny voice] The Joey Vitolo my dad gave me for my 13th birthday! [switches back to his prior voice] Zat ball!

Lilly

[lying] I don't know what you're talking about!

Jackson

Fine. Perhaps a trip to ze closet vill jog your memory.

Lilly

[in tough voice] You'll never to get me to squeal!

Jackson

Your right, you're strong but he is weak! [grabs Oliver]

Lilly

Oliver, don't let him break you!

Oliver

It's okay, it's just a closet—[sees closet] WHAT IS THAT?! [Jackson pushes him inside] Hu...help me... [Jackson pulls open closet] She's at... Vitolo's. [faints]

[singing] You get the limo out front. Oh wah oh. Hottest styles, every shoe, every color.

Miley

Yeah. We get it.

Hey. You don't have to listen to that 50 times a day.

[in unison] Wanna bet?

(praying) Jackson's plan is gonna work, Jackson's plan is gonna work...

Jackson

Great news! My plan worked!

You're lying.

Jackson

How did you know?

Your lips are moving!

Oliver

I paid for half of those!!

Lilly

You see? This is why you don't get dates. I'm a girl! Be nice!

Oliver

And this is why you don't get dates. You eat like a pig!

Lilly

[gasps and splutters] You take that back!!

Oliver

[referring to the guard's surprise at discovering he was "Officer Nancy Oken"] My father named me that. His name was Harriet! You got a problem with that?

No! Not if...you don't?

Oliver

Just get the permit, sir.

Oliver

Here's your poetry book! (he falls in love with Joannie)

NOOOOO!

Miley

[Lilly, Miley, and Oliver are sitting at the beach. Lilly is staring at Jackson and sighing, Miley hits her and says] Stop that. Oliver, tell her how ridiculous this is!

Oliver

Miley, can you tell the sun not to rise in the morning? I mean, can you tell the wave not to crash on the shore?

Miley

You've been watching soap operas again?

Oliver

No, it's just, uh…my Grandma came in town. She's visiting…uh…

Miley

Yeah, you have.