Oliver Oken quotes from Hannah Montana

Miley

Lilly, I'm serious. How can I go out with a guy who doesn't like half of me?

Lilly

He doesn't know he doesn't like half of you. So just let him think the half of you he likes is all of you. As long as the other half keeps her mouth shut, the three of you should make a beautiful couple.

Oliver

I'll never get chick math. [shakes head]

Oliver

Guys! You'll never guess who made the cover of the entertainment section! [waves newspaper]

Miley

[grabs a football] Hey Oliver! Go long! [throws football]

Oliver

Too looooooong! [jumps high to catch the football and falls off the edge of that part of the beach]

Oliver

Hey, uh, Jackson, where's Miley?

Jackson

Don't know.

Oliver

When's she gonna be back?

Jackson

Don't care.

Oliver

Could you tell her I stopped by?

Jackson

Don't count on it.

Jackson

Why does this always happen to me?

Oliver

I was kind of thinking the same thing.

Oliver

Hey, Jackson, Miley left her head at practice. Get it? Her head.

Jackson

Don't know.

Oliver

But I didn't ask that.

Jackson

Don't care.

Oliver

Will you stop?

Jackson

Don't count on it.

Jackson

[after putting the noodles into the drain] That, sir, was the sweet and sour sound of 50 dollars going in my pocket.

Robby

JACKSONNNN!!

Oliver

What's that sound?

Robby

JACKSONNNN!!

Oliver

[takes two oranges and puts them in front of his eyes] Look! I'm a fruit fly! Buzz...

Miley

[hits Oliver in the back of the head, causing the oranges to fall out] Now you're a dead fruit fly.

Oliver

(to Miley) Trust me. This has been going on forever. [flashback]

[dressed as Abraham Lincoln] Fourscore and...Fourscore and... [puts two oranges in front of his eyes]' 'I'm a fruit fly. Abraham Fruitfly.

Miley, why are you dressed like a duck?

Miley

Because they were all out of gorilla suits. Can we move on? Oliver and I need a little time to talk...you know, face-to-beak. [yanks Oliver and pulls him away]

[looks in with dismay]

Miley

You didn't break up with her, did you?

Oliver

Uh...

Miley

Seriously, I didn't read your mind, that's ridiculous. I read...your PDA, which I stole from your gym locker.

Why would you do that?

Miley

'Cause I'm a baaaad chicken!

Oliver

And, because she's in love with me!

Miley

Becca e-mailed Hannah Montana. She said she had a big crush on you.

Oliver

Becca Weller has a crush on me? [points to himself] Me?

Lilly

I know. We were shocked too.

I don't get it, man. What happened to Oliver "Smokin'" Oken?

Oliver

I just totally froze. Has that ever happened to you?

Oliver

[when they can't tell who's who] I have an idea.

Lilly

What?

Oliver

Both of you, kiss me!

Okay!

Miley

Ew!

Oliver

That's Miley. [points to the real Miley]

Miley

Dad, that's awesome. That is the best song you've ever written, I can't wait to record it. What's the bad news?

Lilly

Bad news? What are you talking about? It's a great song!

Robby

Thank you, Lilly! You know I've always liked her.

Miley

Don't change the subject. Every time there's bad news, he tries to soften it up with a great song. Best of Both Worlds- had to get braces. This is the Life- Jackson decided not to go to sleepaway camp. Pumpin' Up the Party- my goldfish died.

Oliver

When my goldfish died, my mom flushed it down the toilet. I'll never forget her comforting words: "Get over it, Oliver. It's a stinkin' fish."

Lilly

That explains so much.

Miley

Come on dad, just tell me. I can handle it.

Robby

[sighs; quickly] Your cousin Luanne's coming to visit, who wants pie? [Miley freezes]

Miley? Miley?

Oliver

What kind of pie?

Robby

Come on, Mile. Don't forget that wonderful, wonderful song that I just wrote you that you love so much.

Oliver

[after Luanne gets up on stage] Hey guys, I found her. She's up on stage!

Miley

[sarcastically] Good work!