You've done a great service to your country Mabel. As thanks I'd like to make you an official US congressman.
[Trembley pulls out a top hat and places it on Mabel's head]
I'm legalizing EVERYTHING!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
QTQuentin Trembly
...And then he chased me around with a paddle for like, three hours. Bottom line: George Washington was a jerk.
Agreed.
QTQeuntin Trembley
Children I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I will always be right here...[Shows Dipper some paper money] On the negative twelve dollar bill.
Whoa! This is worthless!
It's LESS than worthless my boy! TREMBLEY AWAY!
[Trembley gets on a horse backwards and rides off]
Where do you think he's going?
I'm gonna say.... Off a cliff.
QTQuentin Trembly
Esteemed gentlemen of the United States Supreme Court, I urge you to reconsider your decision.
[Several babies in top hats and fake mustaches coo in response.]
QTQuentin Trembly
Very well. But who would you have replace me?
BBaby
Mama.
QTQuentin Trembly
That old crone?
He is such a jerk.
Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs.
Don't worry, brother. Whatever happens, I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the- OH MY GOSH, A PIG!
Wendy, I just wanted to tell you that everyone makes mistakes. And when they do, you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated.
Dude. You lost me.
[sighs] I know.
[Blendin Blandin is blamed for Dipper and Mabel's interference with time]
DDundgren
You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct.
It was those kids! And their leader, Waddles!
LLolph
That's a pig, Blendin.
[to Dipper and Mabel, as he is dragged away] I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never meet!
[After a moment's pause]
Well, we're still here.
Guess he forgot to go back.
Ugh, poor Dipper. Hiding from Robbie, unable to face his fears.
Fears are for chumps. That's why I don't have any. [tries to reach an item on a shelf]
You want me to go get a ladder?
We don't have one.
What?
Stan You know, studies show that keeping a ladder inside the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own ten guns, in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.
Grunkle Stan, why you actin' so cray-cray?
YOU'RE the one who's "actin' cray-cray".
I am ready to take on the greatest Fight Fighters! Take me to the Soviet Union!
Uh, that's gonna be tough...for a number of reasons.
TTeenager
[is handed keys to a new car] I love you, Dad.
[Rumble McSkirmish runs by and smashes the car]
TTeenager
Oh. My. Car,
FFather
We'll just buy another one.
TTeenager
I love being rich.
You can hide, but you cannot hide!
Haha! You fight like a girl! Who is also a baby!
We need to just learn to hate each other in silence.
You mean, like what girls do?
Why Mabel, I wouldn't hurt a hair on your itty-bitty head. If you agree to be my queen.
NO! Never! I will fight you till the day I- Gummy Koalas! [is dropped into bag, nibbles gummy koala]
[on the phone to Stan] Stanford Pines, listen to me very closely. I have your niece and nephew. Hand over the deed to the Mystery Shack right now, or great harm will befall them. [pause] This is Gideon, by the way.
[laughs] Oh yeah, this is gonna be your worst plot yet. They're fine. I saw them playing in the yard minutes ago.
I have them in my possession! You don't believe me?! I will text you a photo!
"Text me a photo"? Now you're not even speaking English!
But-
[Stan hangs up]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gravity Falls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.