[After Gorney re-emerges from the Summerween Trickster]
'Sup, Gorney?
GGorney
I've been twamatized.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
What's going on out here, dudes? I heard a ruckus. Heh-heh, that's a funny word. "Ruckus".
I'm so excited.
We're gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy.
And have the biggest stomach aches ever
Yeah
[everyone is watching TV, eating the candies. Grunkle Stan tells everyone the meaning of Summerween]
You know, kids? I've been thinkin'. At the end of the day, Summerween isn't about candy or costumes, or even scaring people. It's a day when the whole family can get together at one place and celebrate what really matters... PURE EVIL.
[everyone laughs heartily and then]
I ate a man alive tonight.
[Stan, Mabel and Dipper are watching a game show called CASH WHEEL]
AAnnouncer
Ladies and gentlemen we now return to CASH WHEEL. Sponsored by CHIPACKERZ: The chip flavored crackers.
They taste just like chips.
[Stan is leading a group of tourists thru The Mystery Shack]
Ladies and Gentletourists, looking around my Mystery Shack, you'll see many wondrous roadside attractions. Be AMAZED - at the only known photo of a horse.. riding another horse. That's- that's pretty good.
[the tourists utter OOH and WOW]
Be astounded by the horrible, pre-teen Wolf Boy.
[Stan draws a curtain revealing Dipper shirtless with fake wolf ears, fangs and fur pants]
Oh look at him. All that hair. His body is changing... Ah!
[Dipper spits out his fake wolf teeth]
Grunkle Stan, this is demeaning.
What? I don't know 'Da Meaning' of that word.
[The tourists laugh]
If you throw money at him he dances.
[The tourists throw money at Dipper as he whimpers, jumps around and gets pelted by coins]
No buts except yours out the door. now shut your yap and get to work.
Grunkle Stan, whatever happened to please and thank you? Hmmm. Oh wait here they are.
[Mabel takes out a bag of stickers and puts two on Stan's face that say "Please" and "Thank you"]
Oh! Who's that? Is it Questiony The Question Mark?
Uhhh...I'm starting to have second thoughts about this Mabel. I keep forgetting my lines...And this costume is more uhhh...revealing than I expected.
Soos, don't give up. [ Mabel flips through an 80's book called "Succeeding In Management"] Anything is possible when you...imaginize it.
[After a wave of cash washes over him on "Cash Wheel."] I'm giving none of this to charity.
[Dressed like Grunkle Stan, leading a tour group through the Shack] This Shack is filled with wonders never before seen by human eyes. Behold: The Horrible, Giant Question-Baby!
[Shows Soos wearing the "Questiony the Question Mark" costume, in a pen labeled "?uestion Baby"]
Am I a man? Am I a baby? These are legitimate questions.
[Tour group gasps]
I'm Stan, and I was wrong. I'm singing the Stan Wrong Song. I shouldn't have taken that chance. Now here's my remorseful dance.
Mabel [offscreen] Do the kicks.
[Old Man McGucket takes Dipper to his makeshift laboratory in the junkyard]
Lately I been a-tinkerizin' with a voice-alterin' tonic, on account of my HORRIFYIN' VOICE!
[scene cuts to a round-shaped boy wearing a propeller hat with a scooter crying and running away from McGucket]
You can run, but I'll still be in your NIGHTMARES!
[still falling in the Bottomless Pit] Dipper's pain is funny. But I'm starting to get bored. Soos, tell a story.
Really? Okay. This story is called, "Soos' Really Great Pinball Story." Is that a good title? Do they have to be, like, puns or whatever?
[Grunkle Stan is wearing the Truth Telling Teeth, a set of golden dentures that force the wearer to tell the truth]
MSMystery Shack Customer
Excuse me, do you think this T-shirt is my size?
Never mind the T-shirt! Hey everybody! Look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face!
[leading the customer away] I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
[Cut to Stan writing in his office]
D-doing my taxes!
[reads a tax form with "I HAVE COMMITTED TAX FRAUD" written across in bold red ink] Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?
Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud.
Might wanna tuck that one away, there. [drops the form into a shredder]
[Cut to Stan, Mabel, and Dipper watching TV]
CPCircus Performer on TV
[juggling while riding a unicycle surrounded by three crocodiles] Do-do-do. Oh no! [Dipper and Mabel laugh]
Sometimes I think: is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punchline? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet release of death?
[Dipper, Mabel, Stan, and Soos are deposited from the Bottomless Pit]
Where... where are we?
[gasps] Look! The Shack! Which means... we came right back out the top!
[checks his watch] And I don't think any time has passed. It must be some kind of wormhole.
Yeah, dude. That sounds science-y enough to be true.
But that's impossible! No one will believe us. [leans on the pit's sign]
Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves.
AAll
Agreed.
[The sign breaks, making Stan fall in again]
[smiling] He'll be fine.
[During the credits, Stan is falling through the Pit again]
[sighs, long pause] This is stupid.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gravity Falls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.