There’s no way Kondo-san lost. Who’s been spreading that ridiculous rumor?
Captain Okita! He broadcast it over the loudspeaker.
I heard it from Hijikata-san.
I suppose I shouldn’t have told him…
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Doubting your commander’s word is a crime punishable by death at my hands. Yamazaki, you’re first.
But I didn’t say anything!
But you’re talking now, aren’t you, you sanctimonious troglodyte!
[with a bandage on his bloated face] All right, let’s put on our ‘work hard’ helmets and protect this city!
Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi! You’re not here to challenge me, are you? That’s not just stupid, but arrogant too. I burp at your insolence. [burps]
If you’re gonna do it, give it your all. Burp so hard that you may never be able to burp again! [burps]
I’m not so soft as to be defeated by such a pitiful enemy. This contest isn’t about burping as much as the will to burp. [burps]
Quit your burping and get on with it!
[Gintoki, Kagura, and Shinpachi are staring at each other]
[voiceover] Hello everyone. I’m Shimura Shinpachi. The leaves have come in since we last met, haven’t they? By the way, there’s actually a long story behind our glaring at each other like this.
[voiceover] All right, I’m next. Well everyone, the battle to decide the fate of the universe is finally underway! I don’t know the details, but it really comes as a surprise!
What the heck is this? I can hear what you’re thinking! Do you hope to get sympathy by feigning insanity?
[voiceover] Leave me alone. This is a part of my plan.
[voiceover] Feigning insanity? How rude. I’m not feigning anything!
[voiceover] This anime is already hard enough for kids to understand. If you keep this up, we’ll lose our time slot! So Gintoki screamed in his mind…
[voiceover] Screamed? Hey, don’t copy me, Gin-san.
[voiceover] Cretin. Do you think such tomfoolery will affect me?
[The client is introducing himself]
[voiceover] That man was the 63 year old virgo carpenter and kabuki circuit star: Ishida ‘Pierre’ Ginpachi Zeamon. He requested help with his carpentry…
This picture has been beautified 275% by Ishida’s sense of beauty. Does not reflect reality.
but his request concealed a fearsome trap! Yes! He needed one—only one—to help with his work!
We apologize, but this picture has been beautified 384% by Ishida’s sense of beauty. Does not reflect reality.
But then, following the man’s advice, they reached a compromise on how to settle their dispute.
Our further apologies: this footage is--cut--40,000,00,000,0012%--cut—
Enough of this already, you goddamn geezer!
[Kagura hits Gintoki, and he’s laying on the floor, unconscious]
What are you doing, Kagura-chan? This is rock, paper, scissors! You don’t hit anyone!
The first blow decides the match!
But it’s rock, paper, scissors!
[getting up] Fine then. If you’re willing to go at it, then so am I! [draws his bokuto]
I’m telling you, it’s rock, paper, scissors!!
Rock, paper, scissors!
[Only Shinpachi has put out rock.]
[to Kagura] You’re doing shadow puppets? What the hell is that?
Can’t you see? It’s a crab. A crab.
[has finger puppets] Well, this is better than last time…Your rock can’t stand up to my family here.
What family is that?!
[moving the dad puppet] You should just admit defeat!
Goddamn it, it’s rock, paper, scissors!
You lose, Shinpachi. Work hard now.
Why do I lose?
All right, he wins.
[in English] Victory.
Eeeeeh??
See you, loser. Work hard, now.
That’s right, Shinpachi. The client is God. Do whatever he says…Hey, what’s going on?
What do you mean? The winner gets the privilege of working for me.
[feebly] Oh, that’s not right…
SMShinsengumi member 1
Come out, you shiny-headed…that’s that’s…
SMShinsengumi member 2
A hairy samurai sybarite?!
BSBoth Shinsengumi
That’s not the one we’re looking for!
SMShinsengumi member 1
Here he is! The silver headed samurai!
SMShinsengumi member 2
That’s…that’s…
SMShinsengumi member 1
A receding-hair samurai…
Come on, don’t you know that you have to treat your workers with respect?
Yeah, all right, I respect you. Now then, get to work.
[Talking about Gintoki]
I’ll take care of him before this gets any bigger.
If you do it yourself, there’ll be trouble. The government’s not supposed to assassinate people…
It’s not an assassination. I’m going to fight him fair and square.
But if you find a silver-headed samurai and bring him to HQ, I think the others will be satisfied. How about this guy? [picks an old guy] Come on, hold your wooden sword…
Hey old man, use that to knock some sense into him, would you?
Well, Hijikata-san, he might not look like much, but if you take his glasses off…see, he’s like Musashi! [famous swordsman]
Why does he get to look so cool?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gin Tama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.