[Talking about the drunken man]
Hijikata-san, can I cut him?
Well, wait a bit. The cameras are rolling so wait until he turns violent.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[The drunk man vomits on Hijikata]
You! There's vomit on my pants! What're you gonna do about it?
SShinsengumi
Come on, everyone! Stop Hijikata-san!
You ingrates! Let me go! I'm gonna cut his fucking heart out and eat it while it's still bleeding!
SShinsengumi
Help us hold him down! The camera's rolling! Come on, don't shoot this! [one covers the camera]
[People have gathered to watch Kondo and Gintoki's duel]
Snacks? Crackers, anyone?
Anyone want some cola?
Idiot. I'm not going to run for small fry like you.
Finally. You're late! Were you getting your hair dyed or something?
A hero never dyes his hair! I needed sugar!
I never heard of a hero who needs a sugar rush to fight.
How nice...it's sunset. Duels should be fought in the evening.
You've got a silver tongue, for a silver-headed perm boy.
You're pretty articulate yourself, for a gorilla.
I'm not a gorilla! I may look like a gorilla, but I'm not!
I'm sorry, but I'm not the kind of guy who'd take a man's life just to settle a score. I'll risk mine instead.
[to Gintoki] You're a good man. No, you're an honorable man. Kid, lend me your bokuto.
You're a good man too. Use that, my pride and joy, the Touya-ko.
[to Kondo] You're so naive. Soooo naive...to think that an enemy would give you his weapon. I fixed it earlier so that it'd break if you so much as swung it around.
It would be stupid for anyone to lose anything over a matter like this. This was the best way to settle it painlessly.
[on the ground, beaten up] This is painless?
All right then. Let's go you guys...
[strangling Gintoki from behind] I misjudged you! I thought you were an honorable samurai!
[kicking Gintoki] Are you proud of yourself, you damn dirty cheat?!
Come on, I protected your sister. Don't be like..
I'm going home. Don't ever show your face to me again!
I'm taking a leave of absence!
Painless, eh? Well, it looks like Gin-san's the one in the most pain, in the end...
This is really the worst pain ever...
Shinsengumi Vice-Commander Hijikata Toushirou. Even after his shift, he walks the city, protecting it alone. What could he be looking at now?
What's all the fuss here?
GGuy
Well, I guess these guys here had a duel over a woman.
Dueling over a woman? How dumb. What kinda idiot..eh? Commander Kondo?
CCameraman
Commander Kondo? Him? That's the commander of the Shinsengumi, Kondo Isao-san?
What the heck are you looking at, dumbasses?
And so, through the bravery of the Shinsengumi, Edo's peace is once again protected. [pause] Really??
[After the credits and preview]
CClass
Third year, class Z, Ginpachi sensei!
All right, take out your textbooks. Today, Shimura's [Otae] recorder was stolen. The culprit may be in another class, but then it'd be hard to find, so I decided to look for it in this class. Whoever stole it, raise your hand. It's fine if it's a lie. If you admit it, I'll let you off with just playing one line of 'Give me Wings' on it.
Sensei! If we do that, we'll be ruined musically for the rest of our lives! Please, if you must have us play, make it be the famous fight song 'Bring it On.'
All right then, play the fight son 'Bring it On.'
Hey, sensei, I don't get it...wait, that's not even a song.
All right, fine. I'll play it. Someone lend me their recorder.
Sensei, take mine. It's broken and doesn't really play, though...[blows air into her food which looks somewhat like a recorder]
Gintoki It's your brain that's broken! Come on, I don't care whose..I just need someone's whistle. A girl's, if possible.
SStudent
No way! Your cigarette smell will spread.
I've told you, this isn't a cigarette. It's a lollipop!
SStudent
Lollipops don't smoke.
I'm telling you, it's just that it's soooooo lolilolilolied that it smokes. [pulls the lollipop out of his mouth] Come on, girls. One of you loan me your whistle. I'll lolly it up.
GGirls
NO WAY!
Cut it out, girls! Our teacher is trying his best to find out who did this! Sensei, use mine! Even if you get your spit on it, I have two!
[slightly menacing] Why do you have two of them...
[Otae giggles. Cut to outside the classroom]
Wait, please. Just a minu...Ahhhh! It's so out of tuuuuune!
[over Gintoki playing Kondo's recorder] Sensei, may I go to the nurse's office?
[Talking about Kondo and Gintoki’s duel in episode 8]
Is it true that he challenged the other guy to a duel and lost due to an underhanded trick?
He’s always getting dumped, but I never thought he’d lose a fight…
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gin Tama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.