If we can’t catch it, you’ll have to go out with some rich old ladies and scam them out of their money, Shinpachi!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[They run over the octopus with the pot]
Aaaaah! We squashed it!
[looking inside of a vending machine slot]C-c-come on, we just have to calm down and try to find a t-t-time machine.
You calm down! The time machine again?!
This thing’s dead! I thought I told you to bring it unharmed, not one-dimensional!
It’s all right. I’m sure he just wanted to see it again for closure anyway. It’s always something like that.
It got so flattened after we squished it with a pot…what a weakling!
You squashed it?!
It’s not dead yet. It’s undead.
Who the hell wants an undead octopus?!
[After Kagura puts the squashed octopus in boiling water, it swells up monstrously]
Pace is back to his old self!
I can eat all of that!
See, it is alive.
We won’t be soon, though!
[Gintoki faces the monster octopus]
[holding up his bokuto] Oh well, there’s nothing for it. Kagura, go get some soy sauce, cuz we’re having chopped octopus tonight!
Okay, soy sauce, right? We’re going to have a feast tonight!
Or would takoyaki be better? Itadakimasu!
What is more important to you, one man’s life or those of an entire country?
I don’t want to think about it!
I don’t care if this country falls or not. I just want to live as long as I can by divine providence!
Living by divine providence…That’s like something a little kid would say. Come to think of it, my mom always said… ‘You’re slouching. Stand up straight.’
[in flashback] Is it fun for you to do this?
Mom, am I really doing what I should be?
Hey, listen to me! If you don’t do something about this, I’ll report it to my father…
Shut the fuck up.
Idiot, the spirit [of a samurai] never dies, even if just a scrap of it remains on this earth.
[After the credits]
Hey Gin-san, why is this manga called Gintama? I mean, you have to practically buy a special volume just to find out why it’s named this way!
Well see, it’s kinda formulated so high-school girls across the country can say, ‘Hey, did you see this week’s Gintama?’ So we rely on stuff like that to reach our goals. One might say that we’re systematically taking over the country, but it seems to be a horrific failure.
Well I suppose that’s so, but hey, Kagura-chan, what have you been eating over there, all this time?
[eating a dumpling as big as her] Takoyaki!
[Gintoki is sleeping on the couch]
Yo, Main character, get up, dammit! Are you gonna do this or not?! Cuz if not, we're going to start another program instead!
Let me introduce us...the Shinsengumi!!
GGuy
Shinsengumi? What the hell do you mean, 'introduction'? Why do you have a camera crew with you?
What about you? Singing karaoke while plotting to overthrow the government?! Capture them all.
[voiceover] We, as investigative reporters, will follow the Shinsengumi 24 hours a day, and bring the truth of their organization to light!
Exposé! 24 hours in the lives of the out-of-control Shinsengumi!!
[Talking about Kondo]
Right about now, he's probably either talking to some government bigwigs, or practicing his swordsmanship alone...
[talking to Otae] I'm such a pitiful wreck. There's no way any woman would go for me. I'm just no good.
If your boyfriend...what if he were impotent?
Then I'd love him, impotence and all!
[thinking] She's so calm. She just accepts it, like the Buddha! [out loud, to Otae] Let's do it at the altar!
He was so insistent, I got a little carried away, and gave it to him straight in the face, and he ran off.
Is that so? I wanted to see what kind of a guy he was...
[up a telephone pole] Otae-san! Otae-saaaaaaaaan! Marry Meeeeee! I won't give up after being turned down once or twice! Woman want to be loved more than they want to love!! My mom told me so!
Hey! What are you doing so early in the morning? You're bothering the neighborhood! Get down here, you bastard!
Please officer, calm down. I'm...I'm a thief, yes, but a thief...of love!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gin Tama pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.