I've got a problem. I've got a real problem. You're a girl, right?
Well, if you're not sure about that, you have got a problem.
S2 E15Erika Tiffany-Smith to the Rescue
EErika
I dont know why its written in plain English translated from Hungarian"
S2 E17You've Been Disconnected
[Gilligan & Skipper are collecting natural gas. Ginger arrives and finds Gilligan on the ground, out cold]
What happened to Gilligan?
Oh, I told him there was gas in the bottle, but he didn't believe me, so he uncorked the bottle and took a big sniff...
[the Skipper duplicates these actions, then gets a really goofy expression on his face and starts dancing]
S2 E18The Postman Cometh
I guess it will be a long time before you'll eat another mushroom.
You can say that again.
I guess it will be a long time... [laughs]
Don't worry about mushrooms anymore, I got a book that tells all about them.
You do?
Huh huh. Yeah, and it's called, "'How to Tell A Mushroom From a Toadstool'" by the late Dr. Morton Kepstone.
SGSkipper' Grumby, Mary Ann Summers
Late?
Late?
[During Mary Ann's dream after she thinks she ate some poisonous mushrooms] We've got to prepare for an operation. Where can we find a kitchen table?
Now just a minute, doctor. We've got to scrub up. Now nurse, where do we go to scrub up?
Walk this way, gentlemen.
[Ginger walks sexily across the room to the sinks]
We'll try and walk that way ma'am. but I don't think we'll make it.
S2 E19Seer Gilligan
I can't see how you are going to figure out how I read minds by asking me what happened as a kid.
Well, I think I can. Did your father ever beat you?
Yes
He did?
All the time.
And your mother let him?
She used to beat me too.
Oh, you poor thing.
How else could I learn to play checkers?
S2 E21Gilligan's Living Doll
A robot? Oh, for goodness' sake, that's just what we needed: a tin fugitive from The Wizard of Oz.
[hears the radio] Wait a minute! Quiet! The announcement, quiet! Quiet!
RARadio Announcer
And now they are activating the robot's receptor spools to see if they can find out how it got to Hawaii. The next voice you hear will be that of the robot.
RRobot
[mechanically] I have been on a deserted island. The putt breaks to the right.
Well, it was a lucky shot!
RRobot
[mechanically] Sweep back and forth, back and forth. I was stranded. This is the way we wash our clothes.
RARadio Announcer
Ladies and gentlemen, the scientists from the laboratory are checking to see exactly what went wrong. Perhaps now we can learn the reason the recorded messages are all scrambled... A WHAT?... Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, a RABBIT'S FOOT was just found in the robot!
[all turn and stare at Gilligan]
RARadio Announcer
It demagnetized the entire receptor spools. There is now no chance of finding out where the robot has been, who reprogrammed it, or how it got to Hawaii. For that matter, how the rabbit's foot got in there in the first place!
AAll
GILLIGAN?
I just thought it'd bring us some luck, ya know?
S2 E22Forward March
We are dealing with a super mentality, an enemy with an intelligence far superior to ours.
Mr. Howell, I shall have to contest your theory.
You contest your commanding general? A man who studied under Robert E. Lee and George Custer?
You would pick two losers.
S2 E25Operation: Steam Heat
That's not the way to blow up a volcano. I was in a movie once and that's not what they did.
S2 E26Will the Real Mr. Howell Please Stand Up?
Where's Gilligan?
We forgot about Gilligan.
Oh, the last time I saw Gilligan, he was collecting feathers for some ridiculous idea that he had.
Skipper, look.
[they see Gilligan on the roof of a hut with wings he made from feathers]
Gilligan, come down here right now.
Skipper, I've been watching the birds fly. It's real easy.
Gilligan, come down here right now.
Okay, here I come.
[he flaps his wings and floats in the air]
Gilligan, you can't fly. It's impossible.
I can't?
No!
Oh. Mmm.
[stops flapping his wings and falls to the ground]
Gilligan! Gilligan, little buddy! Are you all right?
Why did you have to say that? Impossible? Why did you have to say that?
Oh, let him go, Thurston. What's the difference?
That's right, Mr. Howell. What's the difference? He can't spend any more of your money even if he is rescued.
Well, he can't, can he? He's wearing my pants and my wallets in the back pocket!
S2 E27Ghost-a-Go-Go
And another thing, the Skipper told me to tell everybody else, including you, to bring your, um, bare essentials.
We'd be happy to.
Me too.
Oh, okay. I'll keep my eyes closed.
S2 E29The Friendly Physician
[the Skipper and Gilligan are in Dr. Balinkov's dining room and a dog comes up and meows]
Skipper... I know we've been shipwrecked a long time, but doesn't a dog go woof woof?
[Nervously] I-I think so...
[the Skipper pets the dog]
Nice dog... uh cat.
[kisses Dr. Balinkoff] That's for seeing our fire.
[also kisses him] That's for coming to our rescue.
[kisses him again] That's for taking us off the island.
[Ginger gives him a long passionate kiss on the lips]
BBDr. Boris Balinkoff
What was that for?
That's for being a man!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gilligan's Island pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.