Gilligan quotes from Gilligan's Island

Gilligan

You know, Skipper. I'm very happy to be here. I'm so happy, I could kiss the ground. [kisses the sand, then spits it out] This island tastes terrible.

Gilligan

[At the end of the dream sequence, Gilligan took off his crown, placed it in front of his feet and is shown stomping on it to destroy it] I don't wanna be king! I don't wanna be king! I don't wanna be king!

Gilligan

[Up in the coconut tree, mocking the Skipper as he looks for coconuts] Gilligan, do this. Gilligan, do that. Gilligan, go here. Gilligan, go there. Gilligan get this, Gilligan get that. Boy I'd have a life of leisure if only my name weren't Gilligan. The Skipper wants me to get six more? Maybe I won't get him six! [Dejected] Okay I'll get him six. [Looks off to his left] Oh, there's six. [Starts reaching for it] C'mon baby. [Starts slipping] Uh-oh. [Falls out of tree] HELLLLLP! [Thud]

Gilligan

You're right, that was a real rotten thing they did. They leave us an album and they didn't even autograph it.

Gilligan

You know I never play with a submarine in the bathtub. You gotta watch out where you sit.

Ginger

I learned a little Hawaiian when I was singing in a club in Waikiki. Wahine wiki huki luki nu. And every word of it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Gilligan

Gee, that's real nice, Ginger. What does it mean?

Ginger

"This bar is off limits to all military personnel."

Oh, Shut up, will you Gilligan!

Skipper

You can't tell Gilligan to shut up! I'll tell him when to shut up!

Gilligan

Thanks skipper. Now folks...

Skipper

Shut up, Gilligan!

Skipper

Think of it, ever since we got to this island, we've had nothing but bad luck. One disaster after another. What do you think caused it?

Gilligan

I thought we all agreed it was me.

Gilligan

[after the raft sinks in the lagoon, and the castaways make it back to shore] Hey Skipper? We sank anyway without the gold.

Skipper

Oh, I'm afraid this is all my fault, folks. Why, I didn't think one bag of gold would sink us.

Two bags.

Three bags.

Ginger

Four bags.

Professor

Five bags.

Mary Ann

Six bags.

Gilligan

[after they all look at him, he scoffs] That's a switch. Usually I'm one left holding the bag.

Professor

[Gilligan & The Professor are digging a hole to bury the statue of Kona] There. That should be deep enough.

Gilligan

Make it a little deeper, Professor. I want to put him down so deep he'll get the bends.

Professor

Gilligan, that statue is not getting out of this hole.

Gilligan

Please make it a little deeper.

Skipper

Aaah! Kona!

Gilligan

Hey Skipper! Watch out for that... [sharp cracking sound] ...tree.

Skipper

[a flash happens outside the hut] Fire! Fire!

Skipper

Watubi! I didn't think you were gonna make it!

Gilligan

Neither did I. [Ginger and Mary Ann nudge him, goes into character] Watubi here to lift Curse of Kona!

Skipper

What did you think of my Mark Anthony?

Terrible! Terrible! Terrible!

Gilligan

Don't mind him, Skipper. He just says what he's taught.

Skipper

And who's been teaching him?

Gilligan

I don't know.

Gilligan! Gilligan! Gilligan!

Gilligan

Blabberbeak!

Skipper

This is your moment of truth, little buddy. Please don't spill the soup on the Howells.

Gilligan

Be of good cheer, Skipper. For I will... [picks up the tray of soup bowls] ...not spill the soup.

[seeing Gilligan playing a drum] Oh, Gilligan, I am hungry for music!

Gilligan

[pausing] Would you like a drumstick?

Sam wants a cracker. Sam wants a cracker.

Skipper

Gilligan, your parrot would like another cracker.

Gilligan

I've already given him fifteen crackers.

Skipper

Gilligan?

Skipper

Gilligan, as soon as you get back in your hammock, he's gonna want another cracker. Why don't you give him the whole box so we can both get some sleep.

Skipper

There. That oughta do it.

Gilligan

Yeah. Couldn't imagine what he'd want now.

Sam wants a drink of water. Sam wants...