Mrs. Howell quotes from Gilligan's Island

Gilligan

[after the raft sinks in the lagoon, and the castaways make it back to shore] Hey Skipper? We sank anyway without the gold.

Skipper

Oh, I'm afraid this is all my fault, folks. Why, I didn't think one bag of gold would sink us.

Two bags.

Three bags.

Ginger

Four bags.

Professor

Five bags.

Mary Ann

Six bags.

Gilligan

[after they all look at him, he scoffs] That's a switch. Usually I'm one left holding the bag.

[seeing Gilligan playing a drum] Oh, Gilligan, I am hungry for music!

Gilligan

[pausing] Would you like a drumstick?

Professor

Well, it must be their old abandoned Yacht, and this is silent picture equipment.

I just love those old silent pictures and those marvelous silent picture stars. Oh, look, darling. There's 'Theda Bara' And there's Little 'Mary Pickford' and 'Rudolph Valentino'.

[to the Russian cosmonauts] Gentlemen. I am Thurston Howell III and this of course is my wife, Mrs. Thurston Howell III.

Charmed.

Capitalist! Exploiter!

Capitalist. Exploiter. I was wrong Lovey. They're very friendly!

Oh, let him go, Thurston. What's the difference?

Skipper

That's right, Mr. Howell. What's the difference? He can't spend any more of your money even if he is rescued.

Well, he can't, can he? He's wearing my pants and my wallets in the back pocket!

Professor

Now gentlemen, on the one hand there may be nothing to worry about.

Gilligan

Good!

Professor

But on the other hand...

Gilligan

I knew it, it's always the other hand that gets in trouble!

" I have one regret. that I won't live to be one hundred years old."

"Oh, but you will dear. You' be that on Saturday."