Valerie quotes from Frisky Dingo

Why 's it always got to be my ass? There's a... there's a person in this ass.

[Mocking Killface] Oh please don't kill me. Please don't make it so appealing. I'm a douche. [shoots and misses, killing Phil instead] Damn it!

There's your twenty billion, Brent! Drink it in! The fusion chamber alone cost nine billion. The thrusters another four! You think there's just heaps of money left over for - WHAT DID YOU CALL IT?

Uh [clears throat] Media Buy.

MEDIA BUY!?!

Please don't kill us!

Please don't make it so appealing!

...Any standard DVD player.

Or any uhh... "PC", it says here?

Yes, any Personal Computer with DVD capabiliti-

GREAT SCOTT!!

[Screams out in panic]

What?

[Laughs], "PC"...

What?

...Stands for "Personal Computer"... I just this moment got that... VALERIE!!!

[Screams in panic again]

It's alright if you want to laugh.

[Nervous laugh]

Good girl.

Why does it say "Welcome to you're 'Doom!'"? What does that even mean, and why, for God's sakes, is "Doom!" in quotes?

I don't know.

Is this some sort of ironic doom? Is the wink implied?

No, I don't know.

No, it isn't. So please tell me how and why I'm suddenly a laughingstock!

Uh...'cause you signed off on the proofs?

[on climbing machine] ...then find me that printer so I can cut his arms off.

But you signed off on...

Mention those proofs again and just see what happens, Valerie.

Look, bad grammar aside, forty million people just saw your postcard.

[stopping exercise] Bugger me! They pull those numbers?

It's the highest-rated daytime show ever.

Ugh, I hate America.

[leading] And their booker owes me a favor.

No, she doesn't. Valerie, if you could get me on Live With Mitzi and Verl, I'd...I'd want two segments--not the one after Verl monologue, that's garbage time--but the next two, after the break. Valerie, you get me on there, you just name your reward.

I'd like for you to let me go.

[resuming exercise] Well, you know...except for that.

I can't believe Killface fired me. Well, revenge shall be mine.

[kicking out the painting] No! Revenge shall be mine!