Nearl quotes from Frisky Dingo

What's your names, guys?

Is this really Babar's house?

That's not Crews, that's Nearl, the local retarded wino guy.

Yeah...right now. [Taps on the the car window, which Nearl rolls down] Hey, Nearl!

I am Nearl!

You wanna make fifty bucks?

Okay!

Okay, got the tuxedo shirt.

Uhh...what is that?

Everybody is Ken!

What is what?

That!

It's the shirt.

Really. And is it me, or is it 1987? A winged collar. Are you...doing this?

What are...what's everybody doing?

No, that's great. Maybe you and Nearl...

I'm Nearl!

...your f*cking prom date can borrow your dad's f*cking time machine...

Please don't do this.

...and fly it into the gym down there at I'm-a-jackoff High School...

Everybody!

...and slow dance to Lisa Lisa and motherf*cking Cult Jam!

Lisa Lisa, the one I adore!

[running in] I think it's the Cult Jam.

[as Ed McMahon] You are correct, sir.

No, he isn't, nor is that collar!

Can we just fix the collar?

[at sewing machine] Oh, sure, why not? I'll just do it tonight while I'm missing another recital.

So...who's read Flowers for Algernon?

Ken!

Oooh, about the kid with all the chains, and the goggles, and at the end he gets killed with a shotgun?

Boosh

That's Harrison Bergeron.

Hollywood Squares!

That's Tom Bergeron.

Brother of Menelaus!

Damn it, that's Agamemnon!

Nearl?

"Mr. Crews" will do nicely. Although I can't say the same for that winged collar.

Summer, 1977. Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" was playing on Everybody's Eight-Track as the nation slept in fear of the Son-of-Sam killer [X-Tacle's Gasp], and mourned the loss of our Favourite Son, legendary rock-and-roll icon Elvis Aaron Pres-

Why are our heads still blowing up?

Sorry. Sat on the remote.

We should put that in a cabinet...

Yeah.

[continuing his story] And...

That your fat ass can't fit in.

Everybody! Just...Okay? And, Like Elvis, Xander Crews had...an identical twin! [X-Tacles Gasp]

A twin?

Twin Heirs, to the vast Crews Fortune, left behind by my murdered Parents. (shows them an identical photo to Xander's)

Oh my God.

[Referring to his Popcorn] Yeah, it's Cheddar.

I don't wanna go to the monkey hospital!

Young Xander

But Nearl wanna stay with mummy and daddy and brother Xandy!

No Xander, he's dead to us

Young Xander

(Starts crying)

Now; who's for Denny's?

Young Xander

(Instantly stops crying) Grandslam!

Oh My God I'm so friggin' sad!

Yes! Here you go. [Hands X-Tacle a tissue]

I'll take it thank you.

But life in the hospital was a Picnic compared to Life on the Mean streets of...Town...

...But I want to stay forever living in the Hospital with you Mr. Ford!

Hospital closed Nearl.

Uh Oh!

Now I gotta go and work in a damn Pet Store.

I'd like that!

[Ignoring him] And you can thank Ron Reagan's ass for that! (He drives away)

Thank you, Ronald Reagan. (Pauses to think) Your legacy is intact.

But thanks to you and your mysterious brain chemical, we shall savor the sweet nectar of revenge as we rise up, as one man, and DESTROY MY BROTHER, XANDER CREW--[Ronnie shoots Nearl in the head] Thanks, Ken! [Nearl falls over]

Ronnie!

What?

What is wrong with you!?

Hey, what? I do you favor.

This is why we can't have nice things! Thank you, Ronnie!

Look this is complicated enough without all this evil twin bullsh*t having.

You know, that is... actually, that's a pretty good point.

Good for you, Ronnie.

Yeah, it's complicated.

So, if Xander Crews really is Awesome X, then where is he?