Xander Crews quotes from Frisky Dingo

[going towards duck call] Come on, it's that way.

Xander

Dibs on the dark meat...

Shut up!

Xander

...she said.

Turn six!

It's the international, you know, cry for help in the wilderness, bang bang bang, three quick shots.

Xander

Where'd you hear that?

It was in...oh, God, what was it? There was this whacking great bear...

Xander

Oh, was it that movie The Bear?

Shut up, no, it was...

Xander

B.J. and the Bear?

Tony Hopkins was in it.

Xander

Oh, God, is he great?

I could watch him read the phone book.

Xander

And pay money to see it.

Do you want to argue over it until we both die of hypothermia?

Xander

No, but I'm prepared to!

Fine, we'll do it together.

Would you turn six, please?!

Three quick ones, on three...one...

Xander

Wait, why do you get to count?

God, all right, you count!

Xander

All I'm asking. One...

Oh, my God!

Xander

Damn it!

The Edge! Tony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin, Elle Macpherson, black guy from Oz, whacking great bear, The Edge. Why aren't you counting?

Xander

Two...

Three. [Makes duck call]

Barnaby, my God, did you see that?

Xander

Yeah, and I'm curious to know where the fuck she got robot pants!

Xander

(on headline outing Simon) BOOSH! Dude, we have got to jump on this with both feet.

Nope.

Xander

I want WebTV, I want Bluetube...

Nope, we leave this one alone.

Xander

Why?

Because two words: John Kerry.

Xander

Who?

Exactly.

Xander

[Beat] ...He some sort of famous gay dude?

Xander

I do have shortlist of four tentative maybes.

[grabbing list]] Let's see here...

Xander

Okay, Snatch-mo.

[reading] Roxanne, the Real Roxanne, Roxanne Shanté, and Salman Rushdie.

Xander

Which...I think it's actually "Salmon."

Xander

Huh, well, we'll just see what old Wikipedia has to say about this Canada business... Why is, um... nothing's happening here.

You're not connected to the Internet!

Xander

The what?

How good is... your reading?

Xander

Not great.

No, what are the last three digits?

Xander

I don't even see the I.P. address.

It's right up...

Xander

Now I'm thinking of I.P Freely. Now I'm thinking of Ace Frehley. Stan, Ace Frehley...

Oh, for fuck's sake...

Xander

Put him in on list.

Why is the damn thing turned off?

Xander

You said shut down.

Momentarily, a half an hour ago!

Xander

Well, I didn't go to computer academy!

Oh, shut the fuck up!

Give my regards to Hooper.

Xander

[in Awesome X gear]And what's that supposed to mean? You know, I hate it...with your little snotty foreshadowing.

So you and Ronnie... A little history?

Xander Crews

A little bit, yeah... [Flashback to Ronnie preparing to rape Xander in season 1] Which... Not what I call making love. I'd call it "The Shame-spear... of... hurt".

Xander

I can't go to a presidential debate dressed like this.

Ya, you kinda look like a boob

Xander

You have boobs. Snap.

Baby's lunch bag.

Yum yum yum yum yum

Eat that lunch baby

You wanna watch while I call the police?

No, wait, I got some money down here in my sock.

Xander

See, he's got sock money.

But...

[with ice cream] Here, you lick...with tongue.

[with Awesome X mask and gun] You got change for a .38?! [Shoots clerk five times]

Xander

What the fuck, Wendell?!

Wendell X.