PPhoebe
[Singing]
“The One with the Birth” · Season 1, Episode 23
In this episode: Ross Geller (4), Chandler Bing (3), Phoebe Buffay (2), Joey Tribbiani (1), Rachel Green (1), Monica Geller (1), Carol (1), Susan (1)
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
You cry and you cry and you cry
And you cry and you cry and you cry...
[Ross gives Phoebe a dollar]
Thanks, Ross!
I'm paying you to stop.
I wanna baby!
You'll get one.
Oh really when?
All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Uh... Uh....
What is it, is there something fundamentally un-marry-able about me? Well?
This parachute is a knapsack!
Carol's late. She's going into labor and still in the cab.
Don't worry Ross. It's probably $2.00 for the first contraction and 75 cents for each additional contraction. [laughs, sees that everyone's looking at her] What? It's okay when Chandler does it?!
You gotta pick your moments.
CSCarol's Doctor
[To Carol] How do you like your contractions?
[with an air of false joy] Oh, they're wonderful! Each one's like a party going on in my uterus!
[To Susan] It's because of you we are stuck here.
Hi I am Ben. Ben to the rescue.
Relax. You're only at nine centimeters. And the baby's at zero station..
[To Joey] Now you are scaring me.
Dammit! This is all your fault! This was supposed to be like the greatest day of my life, you know. My son is being born and... I should be in there, you know. Instead I'm stuck in a closet with you.
The woman I love is having a baby today, I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
No, believe me, no one has been waiting for this just as much as I have. Okay, and you know what the funny thing is? When this thing is over, you get to go home with the baby, okay? Where does that leave me?
You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. And who am I? There's Fathers Day, there's Mothers Day, there's no Lesbian Lover Day.
Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
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