“I Hate Frasier Crane” · Season 1, Episode 4
In this episode: Frasier Crane (3), Niles Crane (1), Roz Doyle (1)
Sorry I'm late, Frasier. Just as we were leaving, Maris had a run-in with a rude directory assistance operator, and it shattered her calm.
You know, Niles, have you ever considered that maybe Maris is a bit high-strung, that maybe she should see someone?
She's seen everyone. Why do you think she was calling directory assistance?
As some of you may know, yesterday I was mentioned in Derek Mann's "Mann About Town" column. He said, and I quote, "I Hate Frasier Crane"... "I Hate Frasier Crane." What trenchant criticism. Move aside, Voltaire. Step back in the shadows, H. L. Mencken. There's a new kid in town. One can only wonder how many hours Derek Mann sat in the glow of his computer screen before his trembling fingers sprang to life and pecked out this chef d'oeuvre: "I... hate... Frasier Crane."
So, I step out of the shower, I look out of the window and I notice the garbage man looking right in at me. So I say, "Did you get a good look?" And he says, "Not completely, turn around." Then he smiled, and he's missing a tooth, and that's when the romance went right out of it for me.
Roz, why are you telling me this story?
I'm trying to take your mind of the fact that in five minutes you're going to walk right out into that square and get your clock cleaned.
Well, has it ever occurred to you that I might actually win this fight?
Your shoe's untied.
[Frasier looks down]
If you fell for that one, you're going down and you're going down hard.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
