River Tam quotes from Firefly ... TV Quotes Database

[suddenly speaking in Badger's own Cockney accent] Sure. I got a secret. More'n one. Don't seem like I'd tell 'em to you, now, do it? Anyone off Dyton colony knows better'n to talk to strangers. [pokes Badger in the chest] You're talkin' loud enough for the both of us, ain't ya? I've met a dozen like you. Skipped off home early. Minor grift jobs here and there. Spent some time in the lockdown, but less than you claim. And you're what? A petty thief with delusions o' standing? Sad little king of a sad little hill.

Badger

Nice to see someone from the old homestead.

River

Not really. [to Simon] Call me if anyone interesting shows up. [Leaves]

Badger

[grinning] I like her.

Shindig

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[In a flashback, a young River plays behind a couch while Simon works on a computer pad.]

Young River

We got outflanked by the Independent squad, and we're never gonna make it back to our platoon. [pauses] We need to resort to cannibalism.

Young Simon

That was fast. Don't we have rations or anything?

. . .

[River glances at her brother's homework.]

Young River

That's wrong.

Young Simon

It's from the book, River.

Young River

No, the book is wrong. This whole conclusion is fallacious.

Safe

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[In the present day, River is violently refusing to cooperate with Simon's diagnostic tests.]

Mal

So, she's added cussing and hurling-about of things to her repertoire. She really is a prodigy.

Simon

It's just a bad day.

Mal

No, a "bad day" is when someone's yellin' spooks the cattle. Understand? You ever see cattle stampede when they got no place to run? It's kind of like a… a meat grinder. And it'll lose us half the herd.

Simon

She hasn't gone anywhere near the cattle.

Mal

No, but in case you hadn't noticed, her voice kinda carries. We're two miles above ground and they can probably hear her down there. Soon as we unload, she can holler until our ears bleed—although I would take it as a kindness if she didn't.

River

The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.

Mal

See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like.

Safe

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River

They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky, and they remember what they are.

Mal

Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?

Safe

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River

I get confused. I remember everything. I remember too much. And... some of it's made up, and... some of it can't be quantified, and... there's secrets... and...

Simon

It's okay.

River

But I understand. You gave up everything you had to find me. You found me broken. It's hard for you. [breaking] You gave up everything you had.

Simon

Mei-mei. Everything I have... is right here.

. . .

River

We won't be here long. Daddy will come, and take us home. And I'll get better. I'll get better.

Safe

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[Simon pleads with the hill folk, who have tied River to a stake, preparing to burn her.]

Simon

She has done nothing to you! If she dies tonight, it won't be God's will that killed her! It'll be you! Your lunacy, your... ignorance!

. . .

[Unable to free his sister, Simon climbs onto the pyre and holds River.]

Simon

Light it.

River

Time to go.

[A blast of wind signals the arrival of Serenity. Jayne cocks a shotgun from the cargo hold while Mal and Zoe approach on foot.]

Mal

Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?

Zoe

Big damn heroes, sir.

Mal

Ain't we just? [Moves to front of crowd, covers them with shotgun.] Sorry to interrupt, folks, but y'all got something that belongs to us, and we'd like it back.

PPatron

This is a holy cleansing. You cannot think to thwart God's will.

Mal

Y'all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? I'm not saying you weren't easy to find. [But] It was kinda out of our way, and he didn't want to come in the first place. Man's lookin' to kill some folk. So really, it's his will y'all should worry about thwarting.

[Mal turns to Simon.]

Mal

Gotta say, Doctor, your talent for alienatin' folks is near miraculous.

Simon

Yes, I'm very proud.

[Mal addresses the crowd again.]

Mal

Cut her down!

PPatron

The girl is a witch.

Mal

Yeah, but she's our witch. [cocks gun] So cut her the hell down.

Safe

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[Shepherd Book prepares a meal as he absentmindedly addresses River.]

Book

What are we up to, sweetheart?

River

Fixing your Bible.

Book

I, um... What?

[Pan over to River, who works on a book with pens, brushes, and loose pages.]

River

Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics... doesn't make sense.

Book

No, no. You—you can't...

River

So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem.

Book

Really?

River

We'll have to call it "early quantum state phenomenon". Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammals on the same boat.

. . .

Book

River, you don't... fix the Bible.

River

It's broken. It doesn't make sense.

Book

It's not about... making sense. It's about believing in something. And letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It's about faith. You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you.

Jaynestown

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[River is hiding from Book, freaked out by his enormous unbundled mane of white hair.]

River

They say the snow on the roof is too heavy. They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger.

Book

River? Please, why don't you come on out?

River

No! Can't. Too much hair.

Book

Is— is that it?

Zoe

Hell, yes, preacher. If I didn't have stuff to get done, I'd be in there with her.

. . .

Zoe

River, honey, he's putting the hair away now.

[Book starts to tie his hair back.]

River

Doesn't matter. It'll still be there. Waiting.

Jaynestown

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[In near-present day, Wash comes in late to hear Book's dinner-table tales.]

Wash

Monastic humor. I miss out on all the fun.

. . .

[Simon is unable to quickly convey a funny story about being a doctor]

Jayne

[interrupting] Now, Inara - she's gotta have some funny whorin' stories, I'd wager.

Inara

[laughing] Do I ever! Funny and sexy. [laughs] You have no idea... [suddenly serious] and you never will.

. . .

[The crew surprises Simon with a birthday cake.]

Simon

How did… how'd you know? River, did you...?

River

"Day" is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable. [pauses] I didn't get you anything.

. . .

Kaylee

Hope you like it. Couldn't get ahold of no flour, so it's mostly protein. In fact, it's pretty much what we just had for dinner. [everyone laughs] But I tried to make the frosting as chocolate-y tasting as possible, so.

Simon

Thank you. I'm really, I'm, um, very, very deeply moved. Thank you.

Jayne

Well... deeply move yourself to blow out them candles so we can try a slice.

Out of Gas

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[River peeks in on Book, who is reading his Bible.]

River

Don't be afraid. That's what it says. Don't be afraid.

Book

Yes.

River