[Wash and Zoe find Mal enjoying Saffron's culinary skills.]
Is there any more where that came from?
Saffron[to Mal] I didn't think to make enough for your friends... [to Zoe] But everything's laid out if you'd like to cook for your husband.
[Wash turns to Zoe, who gives him a look.]
[nervously] Z— heh-heh... Isn't she quaint? I'm just not hungry.
So… are you enjoying your own nubile little slave girl?
She wanted to make me dinner. Well, at least she's not cryin'.
I might. Did she really make fresh bao?
[Zoe glares at Wash.]
Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?
[Mal is disconcerted to find Saffron in his bed, wearing only a bedsheet.]
Saffron
But we've been wed. Aren't… we to become one flesh?
Well, no, uh… we're still two fleshes here, and... I think... that your flesh oughta… sleep somewhere else.
Saffron
I'm sorry. When we talked, I'd hoped, but I—
[She gestures with her hands, losing the sheet. Mal turns away.]
Whoa, hey! Flesh. Um... Saffron... i-it... it ain't a question of pleasing me. It's more a question of what's...
[Mal, breathing heavily, strains not to look at the naked woman.]
...um... of what's morally right.
Saffron
I do know my Bible, sir. [Recites a fictional bible verse] "On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow, and he shall work in her, in and again, till she bring him to his fall, and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast."
[Cut to Mal, who is openly staring now.]
. . .
...it's been a while—a long, damn while—since anybody but me took ahold of my plow…
. . .
[Saffron stands up from the bed and slowly approaches a stunned Mal.]
Saffron
If I'm wed, I'm a woman, and I'll take your leave to be bold. I want this. I swell to think of you in me.
[She looks down.]
Saffron
And I see that you do, too.
Oh, th-th— that's just, uh...
Saffron
Leave me at the nearest port. Never look upon me again. I'll make my way with the strength that you've taught me. Only let me have my wedding night.
[resignedly] Oh, I'm gonna go to the special hell.
[After closing the bridge door, Saffron grabs Wash's hand and pulls him close. They stare at the stars.]
Saffron
Do you know the myth of Earth-That-Was?
Saffron
That when she was born, she had no sky, and was open, inviting. And the stars would rush into her, through the skin of her…
Saffron
...making the oceans boil with sensation. And when she could endure no more ecstasy, she puffed up her cheeks and blew out the sky.
. . .
Saffron
Make this night what it should be. Please? Show me the stars.
Wuh duh ma huh ta duh fung-kwong duh wai-shung doh... I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not… married, not... madly in love with a beautiful woman who... can... kill me with her pinkie!
[Saffron, after knocking Mal and Wash out, tries to seduce Inara as well. The latter seems to be buying it.]
Saffron
You would... lie with me?
[The alarm begins to sound.]
...I think we've lied enough.
Saffron
You're good.
You're amazing. Who are you?
Saffron
[sneers arrogantly] Malcolm Reynolds' widow.
[The two begin to fight.]
(Mal bursts in on Saffron, gun drawn)
(Saffron tries to grab the gun away, but Mal wrestles her onto the bed.)
Looks like you get that wedding night after all.
(Saffron fights back harder and they end up on the floor.)
It's the first time, darlin', I think you should be gentle with me.
Saffron
You gonna kill me?
Can you conjure up a terribly compelling reason for me not to?
Saffron
I didn't kill you.
You handed me and my crew over to those that would kill us. That buys you nothing.
Saffron
[smiles] I made you dinner.
Why the act? All the seduction games, the dancin' around folk, there has to be an easier way to steal.
Saffron
You're assuming the point is the paycheck.
I'm not assuming anything at this point.
Saffron
How'd you find me?
Only a couple places that shuttle would make it to from where you left… happy to find it intact.
Saffron
You're quite a man, Malcolm Reynolds. [Seductively] I've been waiting a long time for someone good enough to take me down.
Saffron, you even think about playing me again I will riddle you with holes.
Saffron
Everybody plays each other. That's all anybody ever does. We play parts.
You've got all kinds o' learnin' and you made me look the fool without even trying, yet here I am, with a gun to your head. That's 'cause I got people with me. People who trust each other, who do for each other, and ain't always lookin' for the advantage.
Saffron
Promise me you're gonna kill me soon.
(gets off her) Oh, you already know I ain't gonna.
Saffron
(sits up) You know, you did pretty well. Most men, they're on me inside of ten minutes. Not trying to teach me to be strong and the like.
I got one question for you, just one thing I'd like to know, straight up.
Saffron
Ask me.
(Saffron stares at him, then opens her mouth to answer, he pistol-whips her unconscious)
You'd only lie to me anyhow.
[As Saffron rummages through her purse, Malcolm puts a gun to her head.]
You're gonna want to pull your claw out of that bag, nice and slow.
Saffron
Relax. I'm not going for a gun or anything.
[Saffron pulls out some lipstick.]
Saffron
Just freshening up.
[Mal takes the lipstick from her and tosses it away.]
You and lipstick are a dangerous combination, if I recall.
. . .
[Mal frisks Saffron.]
Saffron
Mmm. You missed a spot.
Can't miss a place you've never been.
This is my scrap of nowhere. You go on, find your own.
Saffron
You can't just leave me here on this lifeless piece-of-crap moon.
Saffron
I'll die.
Well, as a courtesy, you might start getting busy on that, 'cause all this chatter ain't doin' me any kindness.
Saffron
This was all your fault, you know. I had the perfect crime lined up.
Sure. You were gonna steal a man's beard.
Saffron
No, you HOE-tze duh PEE-goo! A million-square job. The big time. I was gonna cut Monty and his crew in, but you screwed that royal.
Odd, but I don't think I'll be losing any sleep over it.
Saffron
I've got the layout, entrance codes… Believe me, this practically robs itself, sweetheart.
Saffron has a notion we can walk right in there, take the Lassiter right off his shelf.
Saffron
You're asking yourself if I've got the security codes, why don't I go in, grab it for myself?
No. Actually, I was wondering... what's she doing on this ship?
. . .
We're in space! How'd she get here?
I don't recall pulling over!
. . .
Okay. I got a question. If she's got the security codes, why don't she just walk in and grab it herself?
Saffron
[sarcastically] Good point!
. . .
Zoe? You ain't said a word. Time to weigh in.
Take sounds ripe enough, assuming we can fence it.
Saffron
I know a guy on Persephone. Already has half dozen buyers on the bid.
[She stands to face Saffron.]
I ain't asking you to trust her. I'll be with her on the inside the whole time.
Saffron
See there? All you gotta do to be a rich woman, hon, is... get over it.
[Zoe belts Saffron, who falls to the floor.]
[Durran, yet another Saffron spouse (who calls her "Yolanda"), interrupts her as she holds a gun on Mal.]
Saffron
Durran, this isn't what it looks like.
Unless... it looks like… we're stealing your priceless Lassiter, 'cause... that's what we're doing. Don't ask me about the gun, though, 'cause that's new.
DDurran
Well, I appreciate your honesty. Not, you know, a lot, but...
. . .
[As Saffron holds her gun on Durran, Mal draws a gun on Saffron.]
No one's killin' any folk today, on account o' we got a very tight schedule, Yo-Saff-Bridg.
DDurran
How long have you been with him?
Oh— pfft! We are not together.
Saffron
He's my husband.
Well, who in the damn galaxy ain't?!
. . .
[The police, whom Durran so wisely signalled for upon discovering "Yolanda", are arriving.]
Saffron
Durran, peaches... just call them off. Tell them it was a mistake.
DDurran
You need help, Yolanda.
Saffron
I'll do anything you want me to. You know how I can make you feel.
DDurran
Hmm. Please. You're embarrassing yourself.
[She spin-kicks him to the floor, knocking him unconscious.]
Saffron
I'm embarrassing? Who's the dupe on the floor?
I hate to bring up our imminent arrest during your crazy time, but we gotta go.
[Saffron begins to cry quietly, apparently at the permanent loss of Durran.]
Saffron
You must be loving this.
[Mal sadly shakes his head no, then nods.]
. . .
Saffron
You won't tell anyone about me breaking down.
Saffron
Then I won't tell anyone how easily I got your gun out of your holster.
[She stands and points the gun at Mal.]
I'll take that as a kindness.
Saffron
You just may be the most gullible fool I ever marked. And that makes you special.
Firefly · 283 quotes
