[Kaylee has expressed her belief that Simon doesn't swear]
I swear... when it's appropriate.
Simon, the whole point of swearing is that it ain't appropriate.
“Jaynestown”
In this episode: Jayne Cobb (14), Simon Tam (10), Mal Reynolds (8), Wash (6), Kaylee Frye (6), River Tam (3), Inara Serra (2), Book (2)
[Companion Inara leaves for an appointment.]
Bye now. Have good sex.
[Simon looks aghast at Kaylee.]
What?
[Jayne is in the infirmary, which is in total disarray, taping a gun to his midriff]
What... happened in here?
Needed to find some tape.
So you had to tear my infirmary apart?
[Looks around himself] Apparently.
My God. You're like a trained ape... without the training!
Jayne, I told you we were settin' down on the Canton factory settlement on Higgins' Moon?
Yep, that ya did.
Canton don't allow guns in their town.
Yes sir, s'why I ain't strappin' one to my hip.
No, that's why you ain't strappin' one anywhere.
Oh, listen Mal, I was in Canton a few years back. Might've made me a few enemies thereabouts.
[sarcastically] Enemies? You? No, how can it be?
Canton really... stinks.
That's what makes it such a good drop point. No one comes through here that doesn't have to.
I vote we do this job really really fast.
The management here don't take too kindly to sightseers, [which is] why we're posin' as buyers. There ain't-a one of us looks the part more than the good doctor. I mean, the pretty fits, soft hands, definitely a moneyed individual. All rich and lily-white, pasty all over—
All right! Fine, I'll go. Just... stop describing me.
You're the boss, boss.
He's the boss now? [sarcastically] This day just keeps gettin' better and better.
FForeman
We've over 2,000 workers, mostly indentured. We pay them next to nothing. That way, we can pass the savings directly on to you, the customer.
. . .
[Simon struggles to keep up with the foreman.]
Yes. I... I-I've heard great, uh... um, uh... things about mud...
[Wash turns to Kaylee.]
What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of disguise?
[Jayne, dressed in a bulky hooded coat and goggles, keeps his head down as they walk past the workers.]
You haven't been here in years, Jayne. You really think you need that getup? No one's gonna remember you.
I think it's possible they might.
[They all look up to see an elevated, life-sized mud statue of Jayne.]
Son of a bitch!
. . .
You wanna tell me how come there's a statue here, lookin' at me like I owe him something?
Wishin' I could, cap'n.
No, seriously, Jayne, you want to tell me...?
Look, Mal, I got no ruttin' idea! I was here a few years back, like I said. Pulled a second-story, stole a lotta scratch from the magistrate up on the hill. But things went way south. I had to hightail it. They don't... put you on a pedestal in town square for that.
Yeah, 'cept I'm looking at some fair compellin' evidence says they do.
[Simon is just staring at the statue]
This must be what going mad feels like.
I think they captured him, though. Captured his essence.
He looks sorta angry, don't he?
That's kinda what I meant.
Hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging around playing art critic till I get pinched by the Man, how's about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our 'creasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?
I don't know. This here's a spectacle that might warrant a moment's consideration.
[shifting back and forth] Wherever I move to, his eyes keep... followin' me.
Magistrate Higgins, I may presume.
HHiggins
You may. But I only make the people I own use my title. Mister Higgins will do fine.
[Shepherd Book prepares a meal as he absentmindedly addresses River.]
What are we up to, sweetheart?
Fixing your Bible.
I, um... What?
[Pan over to River, who works on a book with pens, brushes, and loose pages.]
Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics... doesn't make sense.
No, no. You—you can't...
So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem.
Really?
We'll have to call it "early quantum state phenomenon". Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammals on the same boat.
. . .
River, you don't... fix the Bible.
It's broken. It doesn't make sense.
It's not about... making sense. It's about believing in something. And letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It's about faith. You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you.
Can't be a statue of me, no reason for it. Flies in the face of every kinda sense.
Won't argue with that. [Drinks, then spits it out] Je shr shuh muh lan dong shi?!
Mm. They call it "Mudder's milk". All the protein, vitamins and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus fifteen percent alcohol.
MMudder
[singing] He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor / Stood up to the man and he gave him what-for / Our love for him now ain't hard to explain / The Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne!
[Sitting in a bar, listening to "The Ballad of Jayne Cobb" being sung]
Uh, Jayne?
Yeah, Mal?
You got any light you'd like to shed on this particular development?
No, Mal.
. . .
No. This must be what going mad feels like.
. . .
We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Firefly pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.