A character in Fawlty Towers
Played by Prunella Scales
Fawlty Towers · 72 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Fawlty Towers: in 14 of its 72 quotes
Most scenes with: Basil Fawlty (13), Mrs Richards (2)
SybilO'Reilly, I have seen more intelligent creatures than you lying on their backs at the bottoms of ponds. I have seen better organized creatures than you running round farmyards with their heads cut off. Now take your belongings and get out. I never want to see you or any of your men in my hotel again.
[Classical music is playing in the background. Basil is putting up a picture. Sybil walks in.]
SybilDon't forget the menu.
I beg your pardon?
SybilDon't forget the menu.
I thought you said you want-- Right! I'll do the menu!
[puts down the picture, walks over to a typewriter and sits down.]
SybilYou could have had them both done by now if you hadn't spent the whole morning skulking in there listening to that racket.
Racket? That's Brahms! Brahms' Third Racket!
SybilIf you wasn't listening to that racket all morning, you'd have them both done by now.
Racket? That's Braahms! Braahms Third Racket! All morning? I had two bars.
Sybil(Seeing Basil walking down the road with a large garden gnome) Where are you going Basil?
Just going to see O'Reilly dear. Then I might go to Canada.
SybilDon't shout at me. I've had a difficult morning.
Oh, dear, what happened? Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your eclair? Hmmm... or did you have to talk to all your friends for so long that you didn't have time to perm your ears?
I would find it a little easier to cope with some of the cretins we get in here, my little nest of vipers, if I got smidgen of co-operation from you.
SybilCo-operation? That's a laugh. The day you co-operate, you'll be in a wooden box. I've never heard such rudeness.
He's drunk!
SybilDrunk?
Drunk! Soused! Potted! Inebriated! Got it?!
SybilI don't believe it!
Neither do I. Perhaps it's a dream. [pounds his head on the desk several times, sits up, looks around.] Nope, it's not a dream. We're stuck with it.
SybilAndré thinks Thursdays are a good idea.
Thursday?
Hmm, I think so.
Good! Then on all other days we'll serve up a great big trough of baked beans and garnish it with a couple of dead dogs.
[Basil is in hospital and a nurse is tending to his injuries]
Don't touch me! I don't know where you've been!
Yes, yes. We must have our little jokes, mustn't we?
Yes, we must, mustn't we? My God, you're ugly, aren't you? Mind boggling!
[The nurse is shocked by Basil's comments]
SybilBasil?!
I-I'll get the doctor.
You need a plastic surgeon, dear, not a doctor.
SybilHow dare you talk to Sister like that. Get back into bed!
You do not seem to realise that I am needed at the hotel!
SybilNo they don't. They're managing beautifully without you.
Polly cannot cope!
SybilWell she can't fall over waiters or get her head stuck under desks or start burglar alarms or lock people in burning rooms or fire fire extinguishers straight in her own face. But I think the hotel can do without that sort of coping for a couple of days. What do you think, Basil, hmm?
[Leaving the room] I can get down stairs by myself.
"Down" the stairs? Oh well, don't stop when you get to the basement! Keep straight on! Give my regards to the Earth's core!
Sybil[to Mrs Richards] Are you sure you can manage?
If you give us any more trouble I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress!
[leaving the room] I can get downstairs by myself.
"Down" the stairs? Oh well, don't stop when you get to the basement! Keep straight on! Give my regards to the Earth's core!
Sybil[to Mrs Richards] Are you sure you can manage?
If you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress!
SybilBasil!
Well, that was fun, wasn't it, dear? The odd moment like that? It's almost worth staying alive for, isn't it? It's nice to share a moment like that, isn't it, dear? It's what marriage is all about. I know – I read about it on the back of a matchbox.
SybilYou know, Basil, sometimes...
[puts his arm round her waist] Seriously, Sybil. Do you remember the first time we were... manacled together – we used to laugh quite a lot.
Sybil[puts his hand back] Yes, but not at the same time, Basil. [exits]
Ah, that's true. That was a warning all right, wasn't it? Should have spotted that, shouldn't I? Zhoom! What was that? That was your life, mate! Oh, that was quick. Do I get another? Sorry, mate. That's your lot.
Sybil[re-enters] Basil.
Back to the world of dreams... Yes, dear?
SybilWhat are we going to do?
Give it another fifteen years?
He gets paid for sticking his nose--
SybilOh, Basil--
No, I'm going to have my say! Into people's private... um... details. Well, just speaking for myself, I don't want a total stranger nosing about in my private parts-- details!
SybilYou're only single once.
Twice can be arranged!
Sybil[Figuring what to do with Manuel's rat] Perhaps we could find a home for him.
Alright, I'll put an ad in the papers, "Wanted: kind home for enormous savage rodent! Answers to the name of Sybil."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Fawlty Towers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
