O'Reilly, I have seen more intelligent creatures than you lying on their backs at the bottoms of ponds. I have seen better organized creatures than you running round farmyards with their heads cut off. Now take your belongings and get out. I never want to see you or any of your men in my hotel again.
“The Builders” · Season 1
In this episode: Basil Fawlty (6), Sybil Fawlty (2), Manuel (2), Polly Sherman (1)
Ah, hello, Mr. O'Reilly. How are you this morning? Oh, good, good. No rare diseases, or anything? Oh, I do beg your pardon: Basil Fawlty, you remember? The poor sod you do jobs for? Well now, how are things your end? Oh, good. Good, good, good. Well now, how would you like to hear about things my end? Oh, well, up to your usual standard I think I can say. A few holes in the floor, the odd door missing; but nothing you can't be sued for.
(down the phone to O'Reilly) ...No, I don't want to debate about it, if you're not over here in twenty minutes with my door I shall come over there and insert a large garden gnome in you.
(Seeing Basil walking down the road with a large garden gnome) Where are you going Basil?
Just going to see O'Reilly dear. Then I might go to Canada.
(pretending to talk to someone down the phone) Manuel Towers. How are you? Is nice today. Good! Goodbye.
TTibbs
Don't do anything we wouldn't do.
Just a little breathing, surely?
Are you going to take something like that seriously?!
ORO'Reilly
Well...well, I thought I might...
YOU THOUGHT YOU MIGHT?!?!! What kind of man ARE you!?! Are you going to let her talk to us like that?!
ORO'Reilly
She just did!!
No, no, no, she only thinks she did. But we'll show her! We're not only going to take that door out and put the other one back, we're going to add that new door and block that one off as well. We're going to to the BEST day's work you've EVER done, O'Reilly!!
[Basil has just tripped over Sybil's garden gnome behind the reception desk]
What is this!! What is this doing here?! What is going on here??
Your wife ordered it. Call O'Reilly.
That golfing puff-adder?! What does she want a stupid...
CALL O'REILLY!
WHAT!?!
Shall I call him?
No no I'll do it! I'll call him, you go and see if the roof's still on!
DMDelivery man
Where's the boss?
¿Que?
DMDelivery man
The, the... the generalissimo!
[looks at him incredulously] In Madrid!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Fawlty Towers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.