Did you ever see that film, "How To Murder Your Wife"?
Major Gowen"How To Murder Your Wife"?
Yes, awfully good. I saw it six times.
Played by Ballard Berkeley
Fawlty Towers · 72 quotes
6th most-quoted character in Fawlty Towers: in 7 of its 72 quotes
Most scenes with: Basil Fawlty (6)
Scenes with Major Gowen 7
Major GowenAlways reminds me of somebody machine-gunning a seal.
Major GowenThe heat?
No, no. My wife's laugh.
MajorOh, Fawlty. How's, erm...
My wife?
MajorEr, that's it.
Fine. Absolutely fine. They're taking it out tomorrow morning.
MajorIs she? Good.
No, not her, the nail. They're taking it out tomorrow.
MajorWhat?
The nail! They're taking it out tomorrow.
MajorH-How did she get a nail in her?
No, I thought I told you, Major. She's having her toenail taken out.
MajorWhat, just the one of them?
It's an ingrowing one, Major.
MajorOh, well if it's causing you pain, you have it out!
MajorGermans, coming here?
Oh just for a couple of days.
MajorI don't care much for Germans.
I suppose I see what you mean-
MajorBunch of Krauts, that's what they are! All of them! Bad eggs!
Well forgive and forget, Major. God knows how, the bastards. Still...
MajorAh, well, you've got to love 'em, I suppose.
[startled] Germans?
MajorNo! Women! I hate Germans... Love women.
What about German women?
MajorGood card players! But mind you, I wouldn't give 'em the time of day.
[calling up the stairs, with Manuel holding onto him] Right, ladies and gentlemen, sorry to disturb you. Could I have everyone down here, in the lobby. There is something I think I ought to mention.
[The guests all gather in the lobby]
GMiss Gatsby
What is it?
The point is, can I put it this way... [high voice] Fire.
GMiss Gatsby
Fire?
Fire. Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fire!
Major GowenFire?
Fire! Out there. FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!
[All the guests leave the hotel]
[LAST LINES: the moose-head has landed on Manuel, after falling and knocking out Basil]
He hit me on the head!
MajorNo; you hit him on the head, you NAUGHTY MOOSE!!
[All four Germans look on]
How ever did they win?
Don't tell anyone, but he's dead.
Major GowenOh. Shot, was he?
No, No. Died in his sleep.
Major GowenIn his sleep. Well, you're off your guard, you see.
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