Manuel(pretending to talk to someone down the phone) Manuel Towers. How are you? Is nice today. Good! Goodbye.
Played by Andrew Sachs
Fawlty Towers · 72 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Fawlty Towers: in 10 of its 72 quotes
Most scenes with: Basil Fawlty (4), Mrs Richards (2), Polly Sherman (2)
Lines by Manuel 2
ManuelManuel[hidden behind front desk, with moose head in plain sight] How are YOU, sir? I can speak English. I learn it from a book.
Scenes with Manuel 8
DMDelivery man
Where's the boss?
Manuel¿Que?
DMDelivery man
The, the... the generalissimo!
Manuel[looks at him incredulously] In Madrid!
OH NO! come on now, this is quite absurd, I'm sorry, I do not want the omelet!
ManuelIt's nice!
I don't want the bloody thing now take it back!
Here, give it to me.
I fail to see how this sort of thing can happen!
There, I've torn it up you'll never see it again!.
[LAST LINES: the moose-head has landed on Manuel, after falling and knocking out Basil]
ManuelHe hit me on the head!
No; you hit him on the head, you NAUGHTY MOOSE!!
[All four Germans look on]
How ever did they win?
What is going on here? I ask him for my room, and he tells me the manager's a "Mr Watt," aged forty.
ManuelNo, no. Fawlty.
Faulty? What's wrong with him?
It's all right, Mrs. Richards. He's from Barcelona.
The manager's from Barcelona?
ManuelNo, no. He's from, er, Swanage.
Now, listen to me. I booked a room with a bath. When I book a room with a bath, I expect to get a bath.
[confused] You’ve got a bath.
I’m not paying seven pounds twenty pence per night plus V.A.T. for a room without a bath.
[goes into the bathroom] There is your bath.
[looks at it] You call that a bath? It’s not big enough to drown a mouse. It’s disgraceful.
[sotto] I wish you were a mouse, I’d show you...
And another thing: I asked for a room with a view.
[sotto to Manuel] Deaf, mad, and blind. [goes to the window, in a louder voice] Uh, this is the view as far as I can remember, madam. Yes, yes, this is it.
When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that.
Well, that is Torquay, madam.
Well, it’s not good enough.
Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeests sweeping majestically—?
Don’t be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea.
You can see the sea, [pointing out with his index finger] it’s over there between the land and the sky.
I need a telescope to see that.
Well, may I suggest that you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea?... [sotto] Or preferably in it.
Right. Now, listen to me. I’m not satisfied, but I’ve decided to stay here. However, I shall expect a reduction.
Why, because Krakatoa’s not erupting at the moment?
Because the room is cold, the bath is too small, the view is invisible, and the radio doesn’t work.
No, the radio works. [sotto] You don’t.
What?
I’ll see if I can fix it, [sotto] you scabby old bat.
[He turns it on loudly; it works fine; Manuel plugs his ears]
I think we got something then.
What?
I think we got something then!
[looking at Manuel with his fingers in his ears] What are you doing?
ManuelQué!?
[Basil swats him upside the head]
Madam, don’t think me rude, but may I ask, do you by any chance have a hearing aid?
A what?
A HEARING AID!
Yes, I do have a hearing aid!
Would you like me to get it mended?
Mended? It’s working perfectly alright.
No, it isn’t!
I haven’t got it turned on at the moment.
Why not?
The battery runs down. Now, what sort of reduction are you prepared to give me on this room?
[sotto] 60% if you turn it on.
What?
My wife handles all such matters, I’m sure she’ll be delighted to discuss it with you.
I shall speak to her after lunch.
[sotto, bowing] You heard that alright, didn’t you?
What?!
Thank you so much. Uh, lunch will be served at half past twelve.
[After Sybil disappears, Basil is shocked when guests arrive.]
They're here! They're here! What do I say?... What am I going to say?
Oh... say she's... er... um...
She's "er, um" Oh, brilliant! Problem solved. She's "er, um."
ManuelIt is surprise party.
Yes?
ManuelShe no here.
Right?
ManuelThat is surprise!
S2 The Anniversary
View quote →
ManuelI say to man in shop "Is rat." He say "No, no, no. Is a special kind of hamster. Is filigree Siberian hamster." Only one in shop. He make special price: only five pound.
Have you ever heard of the bubonic plague, Manuel? It was very popular here at one time. A lot of pedigree hamsters came over on ships from Siberia.
[Manuel, under the popular misconception that ratatouille is made from real rats, attacks Terry for (supposedly) cooking his "Siberian hamster"]
Manuel...You put Basil in the ratatouille! Why? You murderer!! Why you put Basil in the ratatouille!!?
I haven't even made any bleeding ratatouille!
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