Kevin quotes from Family Guy

Meg

So, do you like music?

Kevin

Oh, yeah. I played guitar in a band before we moved, but it interfered with my studies. What do you listen to?

Meg

Uh, you first.

Kevin

I'm into Garbage, Phish, Blur. My parents don't like me listenin' to that stuff, but I do, anyway, BECAUSE I AM NOT A ROBOT! [calmly] I also like Radiohead.

James Woods is insane. And on top of that, he's, like, 60. The character of Byron is 25 years old

I know, I know. But what if he wasn't?

What? But he is.

...n't.

My God, this is a nightmare. I thought you said you weren't gonna mess with my show.

It's a small change, Brian. You won't even notice it.

You guys aren't gonna fucking believe this. Call a tow truck. I just banged into some homo's Prius.

Look, I'm here because now that I don't have any viewers or a job, I need you to take care of me.

Lois

What, is that some kind of rule?

Peter

Of course it is, Lois. In network TV, if someone shows up at your door, you have to take care of them. It's the pilot of most shows.

Lois

Oh, really? Name 50.

Peter

New Girl, Two and a Half Men, Punky Brewster, Perfect Strangers, Frasier, Will & Grace, Friends, Joey, Home Economics, Mom, Dads, Cheers, Hope & Faith, Raising Hope, Full House, Fuller House, King of Queens, ...

That's good. I ... I think we get it.

Peter

Oh, no, no. No, this is a name all 50 kind of show ... Too Close for Comfort, Mork & Mindy, The Nanny, Mr. Belvedere, The United States of Al, Yes Dear, Down and Out in Beverly Hills: The TV Series, Rhoda, Golden Girls, ALF, Meego, Empty Nest, Wings, My Two Dads, Evening Shade, I Dream of Jeannie, Off Centre, Webster, The Bernie Mac Show, The Return of Jezebel James, Aliens in America, Last Man on Earth, Union Square, Bram & Alice, The Grinder, $#*! My Dad Says, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Damon, Happy Endings, Big Brother Jake, Three's Company, Mama's Family and Who’s the Boss?.

Lois

Oh, yeah? Name 50 more!

Peter

[sigh] ... Silver Spoons, The Odd Couple, The New Odd Couple, Diff'rent Strokes, and ...

Oh my God! She hung herself!

Peter

Nah, naw. That's from Airplane!. We do that kind of stuff too. You can stay.