You lost $2300 to your father?!?!
Relax, alright? We're gonna get the money back.
How?
When he dies.
S1 E9Win, Lose or Draw
[Robert interrogates Ray and Frank for illegally gambling]
What the hell are you doing?
"Good Cop/Bad Cop". It's just taking a little longer because there's only one of me.
You're giving him back that money!
Like hell, I am! I want to teach him a lesson. You up the stakes, you lose a lot. Play with fire, you're going to get burned.
[Waves check in front of Raymond]
AND ALWAYS, THANK YOU, COME AGAIN!
You're not talking to me?
Nope.
[smiling] I just keep winning.
This is for you.
Ahh. But I thought Frank said...
No, he doesn't know anything about that. This is my money.
You have money?
Oh... My father, oh, such a wise man. On my wedding day, he took me aside, gave me $200, and said, "Here". This is if you come to your senses and leave Frank.
Wow. My dad only gave me fifty.
For the last time I'm not taking the money. I lost it, that's all. I'm a big boy alright? If I take the money what kind of message does that send to my kids? That no matter what happened you can go to your father and he'll make everything ok?
You're right. You're right.
What, what am I right about?
You should be able to go to your father, and he should be able to make it ok. [Gives Ray his money back]
So Ray, you feel like a winner?
Not really.
S1 E10Turkey or Fish
My teacher says they had fish at the first Thanksgiving.
Yeah, well, people were stupid then, sweetie!
Look, Ray, we want to start our own tradition, and Ally wants it to be like the first Thanksgiving.
Well, why don't we have some smallpox then, too?
You want me to convince my parents to come here, and my sales pitch is, "mmm, mmm, fish!"
I got the last of the baking powder. I had to fight two old ladies to get it.
What did you do?
Nothing I'm proud of.
Debra, calm down. You're reacting to missing squash like the time we left Ally at the mall!
I can't compete with your mother's turkey Ray, the woman has giblets in her blood!
My mom is such a great cook. Thanksgiving, that's kinda what makes my mom...worth it.
[Looking at the TV] What the hell is this crap?
WWarren
That's soccer. Frank, only in America is football the game that you're familiar with. In many countries, when people refer to football, they actually mean soccer!
In many countries people eat cats.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Everybody Loves Raymond pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.