So everybody has to do what Raymond wants, right? New sheets for Raymond! Brownies for Raymond! Can't sleep naked around Raymond!
S3 E1The Invasion
S3 E2Driving Frank
You hit my patrol car!
I'm your father! I don't care if I killed a guy; you're supposed to look the other way!
RRaymond
Dad, whatever you do, I wanna look the other way.
I can't look the other way anymore! You drive like a maniac!
Frank, how did you hit Robert's patrol car?
My partner comes to pick me up, and Dad backs out of the driveway without looking!
That car shouldn't have been there!
On the street?
(pleading) Just lie! Say you never saw the guy!
I can't do that, Dad!
Why not?
Because I have a moral obligation as a police officer, and I almost got caught lying for you the last time! Now let me see your license!
Sorry, Sally, I'm fightin' this!
There is black and white on the side of your car!
(yelling) I HIT A PENGUIN!
(yelling himself) I'M WRITING THE TICKET! (sits down at the kitchen table and begins furiously scribbling in his ticket book)
FINE! THAT'S "BARONE!" B-A-R-O-N-E, AS IN "THE MAN FROM WHOSE LOINS YOU SPRUNG!"
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Everybody Loves Raymond pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.