Did he just say he's going to Las Vegas?
(walks to kitchen door) Robert, ROBERT!
Ray (To Debra): Can you believe this?
Robert walks into the kitchen
Well, Bro, word has it you're going to Vegas.
Yup. I'm hopping on the big silver bird at 8:45 tomorrow. By 1:45, The Emperors Buffet at Caesar's Palace! Shrimp, Tacos, Waffles, and Turkey Legs!
And hey, while you're in Vegas, you can pick up Ray's "Sucker of the Year" award.
Wait a minute, Robert, are you sure you can afford to go to Las Vegas?
Well I can now, thanks to you (Pinches Debra on the cheek)
But you were eating Baloney Pie!
Debra, why would you make that for him?
We thought you would use that $1,000 to, I dont know, keep yourself alive!
What do I mean? What about all of your problems and your bills?
You see I thought about that but those things will always. When else will I have an extra $1,000 to go to Vegas?
That wasn't an extra $1,000.
Robert, can I say something? Going to Las Vegas seems a bit extravagant for someone in your position.
Well my position is extremely stressed and needing a vacation.
Well if you need a vacation Robbie, you wanna know where I always wanted to go? Hershey, Pennsylvania. We could watch them make chocolate!
Yeah, you're gonna watch.
GMrs. Gorman
If you're the angel of death, I'm ready.
No, no I'm not the angel of death.
GMrs. Gorman
Then you could use a mint.
Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm Ray. I'm helping out here today.
So, I hear you like baseball.
GMrs. Gorman
What are you doing?
I'm Ray Barone, I'm a sports writer for New York NewsDay.
GMrs. Gorman
Oh yeah? Can you fix a radio?
GMrs. Gorman
What do you think it means when someone says they need their radio fixed?
No Ive come here to just talk to you, you know, cheer you up.
GMrs. Gorman
They finally send a man in here and it's you.
Alright listen Mrs. Gorman, I was just seeing if maybe I could get you to take your pills.
GMrs. Gorman
Fix my radio, I'll take a pill.
I don't know how to fix a radio.
GMrs. Gorman
Then youve used what's left of my life for nothin'.
Ok then, well, nice talking to you ma'am.
GMrs. Gorman
Do you sit in a press box?
GMrs. Gorman
Ive never sat in a press box before.
Well, um, if you wanna sit in a press box, you gotta get better. And if you wanna get better, you gotta take your pills.
GMrs. Gorman
Oh, you tricky tricky white boy.
(Amy comes into the kitchen in a panic)
AAmy
(hysterical, to Robert) What did you do?
(not understanding what's going on) What do you mean?
AAmy
What did you do? The invitations! (She hands Robert one of the offending invitations) My Aunt Lynn got this in the mail! What did you do?"
(panicking himself) Oh, my God! This was in the mail?!
Nothing. Nothing. This wasn't supposed to go out.
(taking the invitation from Robert) Wait a minute, what's the problem? (She finds it, and is equally aghast.) Oh, my God!
AAmy
I know! I couldn't even finish reading it because I heard someone screaming, and then I realized it was me!!!
The wedding planner lady was supposed to print it out and you were supposed to look it over--
AAmy
She said you said "send it out"!
AAmy
Well, she sent it out!
(truly hysterical) OH, MY GOD!!! (Marie comes in, holding an invitation)
(hysterical) AMY!!! OH, MY GOD!!!
AAmy
(matching their hysteria) I KNOW!!! OH, MY GOD!!!
What happened to it? (Amy points accusingly at Robert)
AAmy
Robert! Robert happened to it!
(feebly) It wasn't supposed to go out! (Amy goes over and thrusts the invitation at Robert.)
AAmy
Look at this! Hank N' Pat? N' Pat? They're not hillbillies, Robert! Hank 'N Pat McDougal request the honor of your "presents"--
Robert, you spelled "presence" like gifts!
(quietly) It wasn't supposed to go out!
AAmy
You even put the wrong date! It's the ninth, not the sixth! People are going to be showing up three days early!
And what is this: Attire optional?!
AAmy
It's black tie optional! Attire optional means "maybe naked!" (The horror of it just never ends...) There's going to be nude people! At the church! On a Wednesday!!
(quietly strained) It wasn't supposed to go out!
