Why you starin' at my feet?
She loves your bunions.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
My father had two full-time jobs (three if you count my mother).
CTCoach Thurman
I need you, you need me.
And we need those tickets. It's a win-win.
Said the guy who wasn't gonna get punched.
Drew's window attracted more perverts than Times Square.
Showtime!
This gives a whole other meaning to Neighborhood Watch.
By dinnertime, I wasn't hungry 'cause I was full of myself.
When is she gonna stop screamin' and start strippin'?
[slapping James] That's my mother!
I know!
Before Cops was a show on TV, I saw cops chasing criminals every day in Bed-Stuy.
Even though I hid the weed, I couldn't hide the smell.
I don't need a computer. Girl, I'm a walkin' computer.
But I'm not. Girl, I don't even know what's goin' on in my own salon anymore.
Sounds like my father.
My prison was better than school.
How'd you know? She never went to school.
There's a lot of people getting high in school these days.
That's why they call it high school.
While my mom was gettin' the lowdown with Vanessa, I was tryin' not to get the whole class high.
[to Chris] You might be black, but you're not fireproof.
A bag of weed can cause you all kinds of problems: Big ones, like losin' your job, and little ones, like tryin' to figure out where to hide it. I thought about hidin' it in the bathroom.
Who's hidin' $27 worth of weed in the toilet?
I thought about hidin' it in my room.
Momma! Somebody hid some weed in Chris' sock drawer!
I even thought about hidin' it in the kitchen.
Who hid weed in my cereal?!
But I decided the safest place to hide it was on me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Everybody Hates Chris pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.