Eureka Season 3 quotes

Sheriff Andy

[moaning] Ouch! I don't think I like this job.

Allison

For the next 48 hours, they will try to push you to your limit. Physically, psychologically and emotionally.

Fargo

Uh, but don't worry. We haven't had a death or psychotic break in, like, forever.

Carter

That's reassuring.

Zane

Careful. My girlfriend might see you. (Moves Jo's hands) Oh, uh, hey, Jo. Awkward.

Jo

I will show you awkward. (kisses him again)

Zoe

You okay, Fargo?

Fargo

Yeah! Just, uh, thinking...

Zoe

About making out with Jo?

Allison

Hey, are you sure that Larry did this?

Jo

Well, he had motive, knowledge and, uh, opportunity. It's a trifecta.

Henry

But what exactly was his motive?

Jo

Well, isn't it obvious? To steal.

Henry

Yeah, but why?

Jo

Criminal mind's an enigma.

Jo

Okay, has everyone gone nuts?

Zane

(entering sheriff's office) That's what I'd like to know.

Jo

(distracted) Hi.

Zane

"Hi"? Uh, that's all you have to say?

Jo

Uh, what do you expect me to say?

Zane

"Sorry for getting wasted and making out with Fargo"?

Larry

Oooh, you made out with Fargo?

Jo

No! Okay you-

Zane

Aaah, kinda.

Zane

Jo?

Fargo

Uh-oh.

Zane

Fargo!

Fargo

You wanna dance? Let's dance! But just so you know, in high school, I took a semester of shoto-con!

Zane

(sighs) Fargo. I don't want to fight you. I'm worried about Jo.

Fargo

Oh.

Zane

One second, she's acting normal, and then the next, she's kissing you.

Fargo

Yeah, well maybe she's finally come to her senses?

Zane

You just talked to her, didn't she seem different to you?

Fargo

Uh, well, she...kinda just asked me out.

Zane

And that didn't strike you as odd?

Jo

Zane! Thank God you're here.

Zane

Julia, right? Allison told me what you did to Jo.

Jo

No. She's Julia Golden. And I'm Jo.

Zane

Ah, psych ward. I'm Henry.

Jo

I can prove it. Ask me something personal that only Jo could know.

Zane

(slightly uncomfortable) Ah, pet peeves.

Jo

Small guns, big egos... and overly-critical boyfriends.

Zane

Um, boxers or briefs?

Jo

Me or you?

Zane

Funny. Me.

Jo

Boxers. Except on laundry day, which... by my count, would be tomorrow.

Zane

(still unconvinced) First date?

Jo

Sunday brunch at Cafe Diem. (Zane moves closer) I was nervous. You brought a rose. I wore a sundress. You said something smart... which made me feel dumb... But you made up for it on our second date.

Zane

So... Does that mean I sounded dumb, or I made you feel smart?

Jo

A little bit of both.

Zane

And how'd the date end?

Jo

Let me give you a reminder. (kisses him)

Zane

That's my Josefina.

Jo

(hits him) Now get me out of here before I taser you for kissing another woman.

Zane

Yep, definitely Jo.

Fargo

You had me at Halo.

Jo

Hey.

Zane

You had me worried there.

Jo

How do I look?

Zane

Perfect.

Tess

If we can feel each other, how can we be dead? And, and why aren't there any other dead people around here besides us? Huh?

Carter

How do you know there aren't?

Tess

Hey! Calling all dead people! Club meeting in the rotunda! See?

Tess

You're smarter than you dress.

Carter

Yeah... What?

Carter

Red Sox fan?

Tess

How do you think I learned statistics?

Carter

That's the only math I ever passed.

Tess

Well, the only math regular people need.

I believe she just insulted you sheriff.

Carter

Ah, that's okay.

Tess

We were hoping you could help persuade them using your amiable Andy Griffith charm.

Carter

You know what? You have the unique ability to make a compliment sound insulting.

Tess

Who said that was a compliment?

Carter

[about the blob] Judging by it's size, it'll eat just about anything.

Allison

Did you just look at me when you said that?

Carter

No! No, no- I would- the ice cream. I was looking at the ice cream.

Carter

[about the blob] I should be able to handle a mindless eating machine.

Allison

[glaring] You looked at me again.

Carter

Oh, no. The- No, no, I was the... you're pretty.

Tess

Ooh, nice save.