Dr. Malucci, if I don't see you standing over a sick patient looking compassionate and engaged in the next 30 seconds, you're going to spend the next week doing nothing but disimpactions and yeast infections!
S6 E21Such Sweet Sorrow
I heard Mark's coming back today.
Thank God. If Weaver gets any nastier, we're gonna have to call Animal Control.
How long was I out?
About 20 minutes.
Oh, that must be why I feel so refreshed. So, is this a med student hazing thing, or do you just hate me?
You're younger than us, prettier than us, and skinnier than us.
We hate you.
Thanks for the candor.
Why was a critical patient like this discharged from the ER?
She wasn't critical at the time. Her vitals were stable. I thought it was PID.
You didn't appreciate the mass on exam?
No, I didn't.
Who was supervising? You, Dr. Malucci? Didn't you appreciate anything?
Uh, no, I-I didn't.
What were you wearing, oven mitts?
Actually, Dr. Malucci never had a chance to examine the patient.
I think you two need a moment alone to get your stories straight.
He didn't examine her because I never called him in.
Have you recently and unexpectedly graduated from medical school, Miss Lockhart?
I thought my experience in ob-gyn qualified me. Obviously, I was wrong.
So you signed a discharge order for a patient you never saw who was examined and treated only by a medical student? This woman could have died and you're years away from having the necessary experience to make these decisions.
I know.
Oh, good! I'd like a moment alone to speak with Dr. Malucci.
[Abby steps out of the room]
Can I- can I say something? I, uh...
I think your cause would better be served by keeping your mouth shut. When residents arrive here... we size you up. We have great hopes for you, we want you to succeed but gradually over time and through interaction... [inhaling deeply] we form opinions. Do you want to know the staff's opinion of you? You're lazy, sloppy, and your careless attitude towards your responsibilities as a physician endangers patients lives, as witnessed today. In other words, none of us thinks you're much of a doctor.
S6 E22May Day
Benton [to the gunman]: Sir, I'm a doctor, I'm here to help you. Can you talk?
Go to hell.
OK, I'll take that as a yes.
What are you guys watching?
Where have you been?
Shooting near a school. Weaver sent Benton and Kovac.
Wait a minute, why did they get to go?
Because they don't get sick in the chopper.
I already told you, I had the flu.
MVA coming in, single auto versus parking structure.
Carter: ETA?
5 to 10.
Get Weaver, I'll meet you in Trauma 2.
Hey, hey, why do you get it?
I'll call you if he needs his oil changed.
John, you've demonstrated compulsive drug-seeking behavior.
When? Just tell me when.
You know, I think mainlining Fentanyl in the trauma room qualifies.
This week, fentanyl, next week, you end up dead or worse, you end up like your cousin - some babbling gawk in a nurs-- [WHACK! Carter punches Benton, though the latter shakes it off] Carter, you wanna fight, that's cool, man, but either way you're getting your ass in that van.
[Carter breaks down into tears. The consequences of his addiction are finally setting in.]
S7 E1Homecoming
[Elizabeth's hands itch]
Are you allergic to any plants?
I don't think so.
You have a garden?
I went camping.
Tell me you know what poison ivy looks like.
Poison ivy... is that in Wisconsin?
Oh boy.
[after noticing Mark scratching his groin while meeting med students, due to the effects of poison ivy] Dr. Greene, I have a question: Something wrong with the Australian boys?
Who?
[grins] You're scratching "down under." Doesn't make a good first impression.
So, what are you supposed to talk about in an exit interview anyway?
CSCarter's Doctor
That you don't have all the answers.
No argument there.
CSCarter's Doctor
You scared?
I don't remember the last time I wasn't scared.
CSCarter's Doctor
Good.
What? That's it? Be afraid. Be very afraid?
S7 E2Sand And Water
Did you catch her?
Oh yes I caught her, but once she starts writing she can't stop. Heaven forbid, I should have jabbed that pen into her carotid artery.
Hmm, I think they double the fine once you draw blood.
You need a building with guest parking.
Take my spot.
I don't want your spot! Damn.
What?
No milk.
[Offers his cereal bowl] Want some of mine? [Elizabeth gives him a look]
A grown man, you put an empty milk carton back into the refrigerator.
It's not empty. [She dumps the remaining drop into the sink] Now it's empty.
Not that it chills anything cooler than room temperature anyways.
That's it, then! I'm not staying here anymore!
Here we go.
Every faucet leaks, your toilet actually rocks!
I kinda like that.
And there are creatures scurrying about in the walls. Do you know what scurries about in walls, Mark?
...Bunnies?
[looking at a house Mark found] Oh... oh Mark. Oh, it's beautiful!
See, I have some taste.
Can you afford it?
I've been living cheap. Besides, I'm going to have a roommate.
That's awfully presumptuous of you.
Well, I can take out an ad.
You will not! I love it!
You should check out the refrigerator, it's nice and cold.
Look at this deck.
I knew you would love that.
When can we move in?
When can you pack? It has an ice maker.
These floors are gorgeous.
You should check it out.
What?
The ice maker.
It's lovely.
You have to open it. It has a special ice feature.
What, does the ice come in different shaped cubes or something? [She opens the freezer and closes it] Oh my god, Mark. [she opens it again and there sits a ring]
I'm a little nervous, so let me say it. Elizabeth, I love you. I was hoping you would give me the joy and honor of being your husband.
Oh...
Is that a yes?
Yes.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's E.R. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.