Dave Malucci quotes from E.R.

Dave

[about Benton's nephew] I love this guy. He's a medical education in one convenient package, you know?

Dave

[to Cleo] You're not the first to be deceived by my rugged good looks and boyish charm.

Lucy

Dr. Dave, how much should I lower his O2?

Dave

Oh, I don't know. Crank it down. If he turns blue, crank it up.

Lucy

You're kidding, right?

Dave

No. Purple ain't good.

Dave

Hey, Jackie Joyner. Nice spandex.

Cleo

Get a life...

Carter

Can we tell you what happened?

Kerry

I heard what happened. Do you have a brain between you?

Carter

Dr. Weaver, we called them...

Kerry

No, no! I talk, you listen. You work in this hospital not on the street. You are not trained for it. You are not covered for it and you have patients here who need your attention. One of them might've coded, or, or we might have been hit with two or three other traumas while you were off playing paramedic.

Dave

Were you?

Kerry

Don't even start with me Dr. Malucci. I'm only cutting you this much slack because you're new here and you, Carter, you should know better. You're emergency residents, not paramedics. Is that understood? Is that understood?

Carter

That was great, Dave. Thanks, I appreciate that.

Benton

Do you know what it means to be skating on thin ice?

Dave

Okay, this is me, backing off.

You a resident?

Dave

Yeah.

Well, one thing you still need to learn is that every patient in here is somebody's boyfriend, girlfriend, father, mother, son. They don't exist simply for you to learn new and interesting procedures.

Dave

Well, I didn't see her standing there.

Well, next time open your eyes before you open your mouth.

Dave

What's with the new guy?

Mark

Oh, which new guy would that be? Dr. Lawrence or you?

Dave

Hey, how you doing, Jesse? I'm Dr. Dave.

I'm not feeling too well.

Dave

Well, what seems to be the problem?

Dave

That's...colorful.

Dave

Have you always been at County?

Mark

Going on 10 years.

Dave

Damn! Guys who kill their entire families don't get 10 years.

Mark

It's not a prison, Dave.

Dave

I don't know about that. Doctor Weaver sure acts like a warden.

Carter

You did a rotation in Grenada?

Dave

No, Sherlock, I went to med school in Grenada.

Dave

So, uh, Carter... did you know this new resident, Jing something-or-other?

Carter

That's good, screw up her name. That'll impress her.

Luka

Pretty scary, huh?

Dave

Yeah, pretty scary.

Abby

I was complaining about my day.

Dave

Should I just, you know, maybe yank it out?

Romano

No, we gotta check for damage to the facial nerve. Not to mention the damage to my pen.

I've been stabbed, and you're worried about your pen?

Romano

Oh, shut up.

Dave

Hey Chief, am I a yuppie?

Weaver

No, but you will be when you grow up.

Elizabeth

Why was a critical patient like this discharged from the ER?

Abby

She wasn't critical at the time. Her vitals were stable. I thought it was PID.

Elizabeth

You didn't appreciate the mass on exam?

Abby

No, I didn't.

Elizabeth

Who was supervising? You, Dr. Malucci? Didn't you appreciate anything?

Dave

Uh, no, I-I didn't.

Elizabeth

What were you wearing, oven mitts?

Abby

Actually, Dr. Malucci never had a chance to examine the patient.

Elizabeth

I think you two need a moment alone to get your stories straight.

Abby

He didn't examine her because I never called him in.

Elizabeth

Have you recently and unexpectedly graduated from medical school, Miss Lockhart?

Abby

I thought my experience in ob-gyn qualified me. Obviously, I was wrong.

Elizabeth

So you signed a discharge order for a patient you never saw who was examined and treated only by a medical student? This woman could have died and you're years away from having the necessary experience to make these decisions.

Abby

I know.

Elizabeth

Oh, good! I'd like a moment alone to speak with Dr. Malucci.

Dave

Can I- can I say something? I, uh...

Elizabeth

I think your cause would better be served by keeping your mouth shut. When residents arrive here... we size you up. We have great hopes for you, we want you to succeed but gradually over time and through interaction... [inhaling deeply] we form opinions. Do you want to know the staff's opinion of you? You're lazy, sloppy, and your careless attitude towards your responsibilities as a physician endangers patients lives, as witnessed today. In other words, none of us thinks you're much of a doctor.