Dave Malucci quotes from E.R.

Dave

What are you guys watching?

Abby

Where have you been?

Carter

Shooting near a school. Weaver sent Benton and Kovac.

Dave

Wait a minute, why did they get to go?

Carter

Because they don't get sick in the chopper.

Dave

I already told you, I had the flu.

Abby

MVA coming in, single auto versus parking structure.

Abby

5 to 10.

Carter

Get Weaver, I'll meet you in Trauma 2.

Dave

Hey, hey, why do you get it?

Carter

I'll call you if he needs his oil changed.

Dave

[after noticing Mark scratching his groin while meeting med students, due to the effects of poison ivy] Dr. Greene, I have a question: Something wrong with the Australian boys?

Mark

Who?

Dave

[grins] You're scratching "down under." Doesn't make a good first impression.

Elizabeth

He needs a chest tube.

Dave

Mother? May I? Chest tube? [he smiles a big smile]

Elizabeth

Step in.

Carter

Blood bank's low. Weaver wants everyone to donate before their shift's over.

Dave

I always do.

Carter

Well, that's very generous of you.

Dave

That, and I get drunk for half as much when I'm down a pint.

Are you really a doctor?

Dave

When I'm not out fighting crime.

Kerry

The board is full, gurneys are lining in the halls. We've got another 30 in the rack. We desperately need to clear out the rooms and you're wasting your time on April fools' pranks. No more shenanigans for the rest of the day. Have I made myself clear?

Malik

Uh, yes. Yes, ma'am.

Yosh

Uh huh.

Kerry

Dave!

Dave

[after being awoken by Abby, dazed] Yeah.

Kerry

How much did you give him?

Luka

Ten milligrams.

Kerry

Okay, I want you to take a nap.

Dave

I'm fine.

Kerry

What did I just say?

Dave

Go take a nap.

Kerry

Before that.

Dave

Uh, no more fooling around.

Kerry

That's right. Now get back to work.

Kerry

Malucci!

Dave

It wasn't me, I swear.

Dave

Look, you didn't answer your page. We had to make a quick decision.

Kerry

You know what? That's your job! You make quick decisions based on the information available. You had the right information. You didn't bother to look at it.

Dave

You've never made a bad call?

Kerry

Not as stupid and lethal as this one.

Dave

Then show up and make it yourself. We paged you three times!

Kerry

In a perfect world, Dr. Malucci, I wouldn't subject any patients to your care. If you knew your ass from your elbow or even gave a damn...

Dave

I do give a damn. I do give a damn.

Kerry

This man might still be alive!

Dave

Hey, this isn't about my performance, is it? Or my rotations. You just don't like me.

Kerry

You're right. I don't like you. You have no respect for me, your colleagues, this hospital, anything. You like to think you have this whole cowboy approach to medicine, but you don't have the goods to back it up, so you make mistakes. Mistakes that kill people.

Dave

I need this job. You can't fire me. I have a kid to support.

Kerry

Since when? You never said anything about being a father.

Dave

Did you ever ask? You don't know a damn thing about me.

Kerry

I know you're fired.

Dave

You're a sad, cold-hearted bitch, you know that?

Kerry

Someone call Security.

Dave

You may not like me, lady, but nobody here likes you.

Kerry

Get out.

Dave

You wanna know why this damn ER is so important to you, huh? Because it's the only thing you've got in your life. [he takes off his ID badge and throws it at Weaver] Nazi dyke.