Susan Lewis quotes from E.R.

Carter

What's he doing?

Susan

Practicing one-handed knots. He'd do it with his teeth if he could.

Benton

No I wouldn't. You can't wear a glove on your teeth.

Susan

At your age Ryan Sandberg was retired.

Doug

At my age Mozart was dead.

Mark

How do I deliver this baby?

Susan

Are you asking me?

Mark

No, I'm asking God.

Carol

Hey, every full moon should be ladies' night.

Susan

Yeah, we were terrific.

Carol

Like Thelma and Louise, man.

Susan

More like Lucy and Ethel.

I don't want to give you any trouble.

Susan

Yeah, right.

Ronnie sold my stuff.

Susan

[sarcastically] You're kidding. I'm shocked!

You were so right about him. Actually, you were right about all of them.

Susan

Yeah, well... They're basically the same person.

I'm gonna be somebody's mother.

Susan

If Mom can do it, you can.

At least I didn't drink sangria all day.

Susan

Or smoke four packs of Luckys. [pause] And we turned out okay.

And Mom didn't have you to help her.

Susan

Why do nurses wear colors and doctors wear white?

Carol

Because doctors are pure and good.

Doug

Does that include me?

Carol

No.

Susan

Never thought I'd deliver my own niece.

Carol

On Mother's Day no less.

Susan

Where're you going on your honeymoon?

Carol

Tag's going to Paris. I'm going to Hawaii.

Susan

Can I go with you?

Carol

Sure. You can leave Chloe and the baby with his 15 cousins.

Susan

Good. Thanks.

Carol

I might stay.

Susan

In Hawaii?

Carol

Yeah.

Susan

Okay. I can do that. Do you think Tag will mind?

Carol

He'll get over it. You don't think Chloe will mind?

Susan

I don't think Chloe will notice.

Carol

You think anyone noticed we're gone?

Susan

Probably. You think we should head back?

Carol

Probably.

Jerry

Dr. Lewis, can you do an employee physical?

On who?

Jerry

Randi.

Susan

[to Randi] Breathe in. [Randi breaths in] Breathe out. [Randi breaths out] She's fine. Where's the form?

Carol

Well, you just mouth the words. That’s what I do.

Susan

Well, who sings?

Carol

Well, I’m working on that. [Carter walks by. Carol smiles, pleasantly] Carter!-

Carter

No, no, no, no. Chronic tone deaf and acute stage fright.

Carol

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....uhhh....

Doug

12 tone-deaf doctors.

Mark

11 lords a lording.

Susan

10 drummers drumming.

Carter

9 something, something.

Lydia

8 maids a milking.

Malik

7 swans a swatting.

6 geese a gagging.

5 golden rings! 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree!

Carol

Guess who's in the suture room? Come on, guess.

Doug

We don't wanna guess.

Carol

He's wearing a Catholic girl's outfit. Plaid skirt, ballet slippers, frilly blouse. David Morganstern ring a bell?

Doug

Our David Morganstern?

Carol

Knee socks, too.

Susan

Somebody get a camera!

Susan

Do you have anything to eat?

Mark

I think there's some haggis left over.

Susan

What's that?

Mark

Don't ask...

Mark

Denial is a funny thing; it keeps you from asking the tough questions.

Susan

What questions are those?

Mark

Am I dangerous? Should I be practicing medicine?

Susan

And the answers are: no and yes, in that order.

Mark

I hope so. I lost my family for this job.