Carol Hathaway quotes from E.R.

Doug

[is surprised by Carol kissing him] I had prepared a very elaborate argument. Does this mean I don't need it?

Carol

I already had the argument. With myself.

Doug

I hope there wasn't any name calling involved.

Carol

No, it was very civil. You won.

Doug

Oh, so I do better when I'm not there?

Carol

[laughs] This time, yeah.

Doug

So do you trust me?

Carol

This time.

Doug

Are you keeping score.

Carol

Yep. You're ahead.

Doug

[grins] I'm sorry, what?

Anna

How did you ever go out with that guy?

Carol

What guy?

Anna

Ross. Didn't you used to date him? I mean, if he's that patronizing to me, I can't imagine what he's like with the women he goes out with.

Carol

He's seen that patient before. Mrs. Landetta is just comfortable with him.

Anna

Yeah, because he's a man.

Carol

Well, some people are old fashioned.

Kerry

Doug has difficultly dealing with strong women.

Carol

I don't know about that.

Kerry

If he can't charm or vilify you, he's lost.

Carol

Now that's not true.

Kerry

[after a drug-addicted woman unknowingly gives birth] I heard about your unexpected delivery.

Carol

Oh, whose version?

Kerry

She's screaming for a lawyer.

Carol

She's high on something. Crack, probably.

Kerry

When she comes down, she might see things differently, but you should fill out an incident report. Document your account.

Carol

Kerry, she's a crack addict. That baby popped out. I did not drop it.

Kerry

Yes, but after your suspension last year, her accusations might carry more weight. Can anyone back you up?

Carol

Mark Greene was there.

Kerry

Good. Make sure you're on the same page.

Mark

Carol, I got that autopsy report on the crack baby. He died in utero two days ago.

Carol

Well, I guess we're both off the hook.

Mark

Carol, it wasn't a matter of me believing your or not believing you. I would have been on your side.

Carol

Well, maybe if you'd been on the patient's side earlier none of this would have happened.

Mark

What?

Carol

I checked her chart. That woman had been in here four times in the past seven months. You saw her twice and never once did a pregnancy test.

Mark

Was there reason to?

Carol

Evidently, yes.

Mark

So we're supposed to give pregnancy tests to every female crackhead who comes through the door?

Carol

That's not what I'm saying.

Mark

Then what?

Carol

God forbid this woman ever finds out what her real malpractice suit is. I would back you up. Say there was no reason for a pregnancy test. The fact is, we should have done something.

Mark

What? What should we have done? We can't help people who can't help themselves.

Carol

No, Mark, those are exactly the people we should be helping.

Doug

You've been in a bad mood for months and I don't know how to talk to you anymore.

Mark

Then don't. [walks away]

Doug

All right.

Carol

What's the statute of limitations on post-traumatic stress?

Doug

Cut him some slack.

Carol

I think we've all cut him plenty. He needs some help.

Doug

He doesn't need a shrink. He needs friends who support him.

Carol

He's not going to have any friends, supportive or otherwise, if he keeps this up.

I looked him dead in the eye and I said, "That might fly with your Hollywood chippies, Mr. President, but I am a lady."

Carol

What did he do?

He took his hand off my rear and apologized.

Carol

And that was it?

Then I slept with him.

Carol

How many patients do you think we see in the hospital every year?

Mark

Would that be real patients, or turkeys?

Carol

Forget I asked.

Mark

Your count will be about 95 percent higher if you count all the wackos.

Mark

It's not my job to be their best friend.

Carol

No. Just their caregiver.

Carol

I'm going to miss you.

Doug

I love you, Carol. [drives away]

Carol

I love you, too.

Mark

Do you want to say anything?

Carol

A prayer?

Doug

No. I hated the son of a bitch. And I loved him. It's never simple, is it?

Carol

Cynthia, did you give this man permission to bring in all these people?

Cynthia

Well, the clinic's open. I figured that it would be okay.

Carol

Are you a complete idiot? Can't you see we're swamped already?

Cynthia

I'm really sorry, I...

Mark

[Stepping in] What's going on?

Carol

Oh, she invited the entire Hazelton shelter for free physicals.

Mark

Carol, can I talk to you. [Leading Carol to the front desk] So there was miscommunication. If you have a problem with Cynthia or any other employee in the future, have the courtesy to speak to them privately. Don't dress them down in front of the entire ER.

Carol

Anything else?

Mark

No.

Mark

I've been kind of a jerk.

Carol

Worse.

Mark

Pain in the ass?

Carol

Keep going.

Mark

Total schmuck.

Carol

Bingo.

Carol

[about Kerry] What's up with her?

DOug

The crown is weighing heavily on the queen's head.

Doug

Did you get tomorrow off?

Carol

Not yet. Did you get tonight off?

Doug

No, I owe too many shifts. Christmas Eve will cost me double.

Carol

This is so unfair.

Doug

Yeah, well, flex your muscle. You make the nursing schedule.

Carol

Yeah, which is why I get stuck with it. "Carol can work Christmas, she has no life." They don't even feel guilty about it.

Doug

Make them feel guilty about it.

Carol

Now, that's the Christmas spirit.

Doug

Tell them about us. This is stupid. I'm not going anywhere. You know that.

Carol

I know. I know.

Carol

Can I have your attention everybody. Hello, can I have your attention please. I have an announcement to make. Can you turn down that music. Okay I have kept this a secret far too long, Doug Ross and I are seeing each other again.... And we are very happy.

Okay, pay up. Pay up.

Chuny

I was a week too late, I thought New Years for sure.

Lydia

I'm surprised that they kept it a secret this long.

Carol

You knew?

Randi

Oh please honey it was obvious.

Kerry

Well, I didn't know.

Anna

Me either.

Doug

Maybe something you guys didn't know, that we've been seeing each other for a while now, again and I think it would be a great idea if she would marry me.

Doug

Everyone talk her into it.

Chuny

Carol and Doug get it right this time.

Carol

You always have to outdo me.

Doug

I had the opportunity and I had to take it.