Kerry Weaver quotes from E.R.

Carter

Can we tell you what happened?

Kerry

I heard what happened. Do you have a brain between you?

Carter

Dr. Weaver, we called them...

Kerry

No, no! I talk, you listen. You work in this hospital not on the street. You are not trained for it. You are not covered for it and you have patients here who need your attention. One of them might've coded, or, or we might have been hit with two or three other traumas while you were off playing paramedic.

Dave

Were you?

Kerry

Don't even start with me Dr. Malucci. I'm only cutting you this much slack because you're new here and you, Carter, you should know better. You're emergency residents, not paramedics. Is that understood? Is that understood?

Carter

That was great, Dave. Thanks, I appreciate that.

Kerry

Luka, I heard about what happened. I'm sorry.

Luka

No, don't, don't apologize.

Kerry

It might not always make sense to us, but when there's a difficult family situation, we call DCFS because they have expertise in this area. We have to defer to their judgment.

Luka

You don't break up families.

Kerry

Sometimes we do. It's complicated.

Luka

No! My wife and kids were taken.

Kerry

In the war?

Luka

Yeah. And then killed. You don't break up families.

Romano

I came in here looking for jevity and a dubhoff tube. By the way, we need to discuss your supply management. And I find this girl's foster parent conspiring with DCFS and apparently with you to circumvent the state authority and perform an invasive procedure on a girl who has been a gork most of her life and has no chance of recovery. Did I understand this correctly?

Kerry

You're overstating it.

Romano

Am I?

Kerry

Yes. She has potentially life-threatening infection. All she needs is a central line and her so-called guardian has never seen her.

Romano

Well, I've seen her.

Kerry

We have an obligation to provide appropriate care. All I'm doing is exercising a safeguard that's built into the system.

Romano

You're letting your sympathy for the foster mother override your clinical judgement.

Kerry

I disagree but thank you for your input.

Romano

This girl is not to get a central line.

Kerry

She's my patient.

Romano

Feel free to hydrate her through her g-tube and keep her comfortable.

Kerry

I already have my second opinion.

Romano

I'm the final opinion. I'm not getting in a pissing match with the State Welfare Department.

Kerry

It's one bureaucrat.

Romano

And he is right, it's hopeless and exorbitantly expensive. Stop flogging her. Frankly I've come to expect a higher level of professionalism from you.

Kerry

I'm supporting what I see is a parental decision. Angie is essentially the woman's daughter.

Romano

She's her pet! Look at this girl, what kind of quality of life you think she has?

Kerry

Robert.

Romano

Kerry, I'm serious. No central line.

Romano

Were my instructions in any way... . unclear?

Kerry

No, I-I think you made your position known.

Romano

And you decided to ignore it?

Kerry

I took it under advisement.

Romano

I see. Okay, well, then, you're suspended. Sign out your patients and go home.

Kerry

Robert, let's not...

Romano

Right now, Kerry. Right now.

Kerry

Suspended.

Romano

Effective immediately and until further notice.

Dave

Hey Chief, am I a yuppie?

Weaver

No, but you will be when you grow up.

Kerry

John, you've demonstrated compulsive drug-seeking behavior.

Carter

When? Just tell me when.

Kerry

You know, I think mainlining Fentanyl in the trauma room qualifies.

Kerry

Did you even take the Hippocratic Oath?

Romano

I had my fingers crossed.

I don't need any more friends.

Kerry

Oh. Okay, okay, I understand.

Do you?

Kerry

No. I like you and I respect you, and I thought we were really hitting it off.

Well, that's the problem. You're straight and I'm not. And I've done this before, and it didn't work out and I am not going to do it again.

Kerry

Yeah, but I am not asking for that from you. I mean, we're comfortable together, we have a lot in common, we have fun together.

That's why I can't be your friend, Kerry.

Benton

I got a page. What surgical consult?

Weaver

A guy in curtain two has a beeper up his rectum.

Benton

What?

Weaver

He has it on vibrate. I can't figure out how he slipped it in there.

Benton

Never underestimate the elasticity of the anal sphincter.

Romano

Kerry, we have a little personnel problem; well, you do. Mark Greene.

Kerry

Mark.

Romano

Yeah. He's walking around with attitude, he's handing out needles, he's blanking out on words...

Kerry

Yeah, it's swelling from the chemotherapy wafers.

Romano

[Sarcastically] Well... really.

Kerry

He has mild expressive aphasia. It's temporary.

Romano

Well, I don't like it.

Kerry

Well, I don't think he likes it, either.

Romano

Now come on, you haven't noticed any personality changes?

Kerry

Like what?

Romano

Like he got very confrontational with me.

Kerry

Well, you're used to confrontation, Robert.

Romano

We are not talking about me.

Kerry

Isn't that your favorite subject?

Romano

Just straighten him out.

Kerry

I'll try to be quiet.

No, wake me.

Romano

Dr. Carter, are you deaf? I keep shouting, you keep getting on the elevator?

Carter

Sorry.

Romano

Is this the pre-op amputation?

Carter

No, this is the post-op amputation.

Romano

What? In the field?

Carter

Yes, he was trapped, his pressure was dropping. Dr. Benton talked me through it.

Romano

Oh, what did they use, a chainsaw? You did this?

Carter

There was nobody else to do it.

Romano

Oh, well, no one else could do it. Well, by all means, then, let's get whoever's available. [to paramedic] Maybe you ought to try it it next time.

Kerry

Yeah, maybe if you'd respond to your page...

Romano

I can't wear my pager in the dojo. Brenda knew where I was; you should have called her. Let's go. What the hell happened, anyway? You blew it on the first leg, you decided to do the other one?

Kerry

The board is full, gurneys are lining in the halls. We've got another 30 in the rack. We desperately need to clear out the rooms and you're wasting your time on April fools' pranks. No more shenanigans for the rest of the day. Have I made myself clear?

Malik

Uh, yes. Yes, ma'am.

Yosh

Uh huh.

Kerry

Dave!

Dave

[after being awoken by Abby, dazed] Yeah.

Kerry

How much did you give him?

Luka

Ten milligrams.

Kerry

Okay, I want you to take a nap.

Dave

I'm fine.

Kerry

What did I just say?

Dave

Go take a nap.

Kerry

Before that.

Dave

Uh, no more fooling around.

Kerry

That's right. Now get back to work.

Kerry

Malucci!

Dave

It wasn't me, I swear.

Kerry

Give me that pepper spray. Hey! Give it to me. Do you want me to have you arrested?

I told him not to touch me or my personal possessions.

Kerry

Dr. Malucci was only trying to help you. You seriously injured him.

Yeah, well, I hope I taught him some manners.

Kerry

Have you been in this ER before?

I've been in a lot of ERs. And to be honest, this one's substandard.

Kerry

Oh, well, you'd feel more comfortable in jail.

You know they used to drown redheaded babies in the old days cause they thought they were evil.

Kerry

And they used to burn crazy people who they thought were witches.

Kerry

It's not right, Kim. You know why they're firing you. You have to fight it; you have to fight this.

I'm supposed to fight. You're hiding, but I'm supposed to fight? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't want to fight. I just want to move on. So should you.