Original El Tigre quotes from El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera

Django, I really appreciate this.

The offer to join us?

No. You're sticking out your hand like an idiot.

[chuckles nervously as Sartana stands in front of him] Hey there. Sorry about Django, huh?

Don't worry. He's a fast healer. [strums her mystic guitar, resurrecting her grandson]

[emerging from the lava with lava hands; savagely] El Tigre, you will PAY!

Get ready for play catch, lava bone boy!

No, this is my fight.

But Manny...

Papi, Manny was right. He's not a child anymore. We must let him fight his own battles.

[after Manny moves out of the way and Django accidentally fires lava at her; annoyed] Just wait till your mother hears about this. [disintegrates into dust and so does her banditos]

[tauntingly to Django] Adios, sucker! [laughs, then stops, noticing that Django isn't disintegrating, or going anywhere] Uh, aren't you gonna, you know, disintegrate or something?

No! Remember, I have my own mystic guitar! [accidentally disintegrates it with his lava hands] Well, that was stupid.

Thus, did El Tigre choose… Evil. With Tigre and Django's help, Sartana was at last able to conquer the world, plucking it like a ripe and succulent fruit… only bigger. Earth's teaming masses were powerless to resist their onslaught. Those who resisted were crushed beneath the iron boot of the Tyrannical Boot of Iron. Before long, El Tigre and Django decided it was finally time for Sartana to retire. [a rocket encases Sartana and blasts off into the sky] And El Tigre decided it was time for Django to retire as well. [another rocket encases Django after Manny shakes his hand, bidding him farewell, and catches his mystic guitar as it blasts off to the moon] And so, El Tigre became the unquestioned ruler of all human kind. His first order of business was to rescue his loved ones from the Miracle City volcano.

Frida

[after Manny uses Django's guitar to free her] Dude, took you long enough.

Well, I've been conquering the world, enslaving human kind. You know how it is.

But of course, as your elders, Papi and I will take control of the world, once you unshackle us.

Grandpapi

Yes, we take your power and hold it for you until you get older, eh?

Gosh, I have left a flan within the oven. We'll be back in five or ten minutes or months.

Frida

Ciao!

Well, you can't rush flan.

Two more minutes!

Grandpapi

Send food!

But of course, El Tigre and Frida soon grew tired of these childish games. If by "soon" you mean, "in 60 years."

Frida

Dude, the last 60 years have been awesome! But I feel like we forgot something.

Dad and Grandpapi! We must run like the wind!

Dropped in the belly of the beast.

There's only one way to escape this monster and destroy Sartana. Our ultimate weapon: the Caliente Catapult of Carnage!

No…it's too dangerous!

I won't risk…my only son!

Dad… I know I messed up. I sent Señor Chapi to bird heaven, and I wrecked the house… twice. But please, let me show you I can be a hero. I will make you proud.

[sighs] What am I going to do with that boy?

Grandpapi

Don't worry, someday Manny will be a truly great villain.

Hero, he'll be a hero!

Frida

So, what now?

Oh, uh, maybe, uhh… Hide Sartana's loot and tell my dad it disappeared?

Frida

Dude, you are an artist.

Frida

[noticing Manny looking really upset] Dude, why so mopey? You're acting like they just outlawed churros. [gasps] They didn't, did they?

Manny

[ashamed] (No.) My dad is super mad at me. I totally been messing up with him lately.

Frida

Do tell. [grabs and pulls him by the collar; shouting in demand] I SAID TELL!

Manny

Okay, okay! Like, yesterday, me and Dad were doing a little crime-fighting.

You do not have a chance. Dr Chipotle Sr's son is sneaking up behind you.

That's where you're wrong. Because my son has taken care of him. Right, Manny? Manny?

[playing a video game] I'm on it, Dad! High Score!

[annoyed] Ah, I see. [gets blasted by Dr. Chipotle Jr.]

Manny

And later, me and Dad caught El Oso robbing a factory… An underpants factory.

[kicks the doors open] El Oso, drop those drawers! [Manny bursts out in a fit of hysterical laughter; confused] What? What's so funny? [El Oso rises behind him and uses a pair of pink thongs, giving him an atomic wedgie; screams in pain]

Manny

You try to keep a straight face in a room full of pink thongs.

Frida

Dude, preaching to the choir.

Manny

How am I gonna make it up to him?

Frida

You could clean your room. [Manny annoyingly looks at her] Sorry, talking crazy.

Black Cuervo

Aren't we going to fight, even a little? I got new lasers- they're strawberry.

[agitated] GO!

Black Cuervo

[annoyed] Fine! Now I have one more reason to hate you! [flies away]

Frida

And by "hate," she means "love."

Just heading out to check with my "anonymous source." Who might have information that could help you prevent crimes.

[lowering the newspaper; agitated] Manny… I can't even LOOK at you right now. Seriously, it pulls my hair.

Dad, my source says Voltura is robbing the science tower! And if you hurry, you can nab her!

This is excellent, Manny! Ooh, and I'll work undercover to protect your source! Ok, be good!

Voltura

[answers the door] Make yourself at home, El Tigre.

Lady Gobbler

Yes, it's so nice to have you here.

Black Cuervo

Wow. They totally hate you. Don't eat anything.

Lady Gobbler

So, you come here to spy on us?

No, ma'am. I'm just here to talk about evil. So, uh… committing any good crimes soon?

Voltura

[to her daughter] $10 says he breaks your heart before dessert.

I would never do a thing like that. Speaking of things, let's trade crime plans.

Black Cuervo

You're just jealous because a Rivera actually likes me!

Voltura

You are dating the enemy. Use your head.

Black Cuervo

I know what I am doing!

Voltura

Well... Maybe you're just not cut out to be a supervillain.

She said I'm the best friend she's ever had!

Frida

Meanwhile, you're totally stabbing her in the back and stuff. [laughs] But…

Yeah?

Frida

That's nothing compared to how upset your dad's gonna be when he finds out what you've done.

[gulps nervously; guilty] You're right, Frida. I've gotta tell 'em both the truth.

Black Cuervo

[heartbroken and deceived after Manny confesses about using her as a pawn to date her into tipping off his father] How could you?! [starts attacking him with fury] I thought you liked me, but you were just… USING ME!

[whispering a little quicker] Cuervo, you're totally right. I'm sorry I treated you so lousy, but I'm going to make it up to you.

Black Cuervo

[scoffs] How?

This fight. I'm going to let you win.

Black Cuervo

[enraged in shock] LET ME WIN?!

Frida

Ooh, bad call.

Manny

I'll yank that puppy off you with a little… [changes into El Tigre] Tigre power!

Frida

Zombie not bad, Manny. Frida like zombie.

You may feel a pinch.