[handing Big Rudy over to Ed] Ed, this is the man responsible for sabotage against one Stuckeybowl Bowling Center. You sir have been served up like a trout on a silver platter.
S1Loyalties
In the criminal justice system, Bonnie Hane's day is divided into two separate yet equally important parts: prosecuting offenders and having lunch.
S1Live Deliberately
[to Carol after Willie asks her out] I just thought I'd spice it up a bit. I mean, why say "Hello" when you can say "Hellooooooooooooooo"?
[on finding he is in a reading group with Jessica] What God have I pleased to deserve such a favor?
[upon seeing that Jessica might think he`s a little weird for loving "Walden"] This is just a big wakeup call! I mean, whatever, I only read the first three chapters, so the rest might suck.
Time is but the stream I go a-fishin' in.
Ed, Lewis and Clark had a journal. You, my friend, have a diary.
S1Exceptions
Albert Einstein was put on this earth to come up with the theory of relativity. Alexander Graham Bell, the telephone. James Louis Kraft individually wrapped slices of cheese. Molly Hudson's great purpose on this earth? Not yet decided, but I can tell you, for sure, what it is not, and that is to be a go-between for the greatest romance of our time: Edward J. Stevens, Carol Phyllis Vessey. Will they? Won't they? They fight! They're friends! Ooooh, what will happen next?
[to Mike] You don't get to disagree, you knuckle-dragging cretin! I have been a doctor for half a century. You have been a doctor since lunch! I am a man, you are a child! I know everything, you know nothing!
[when confronting Mike in his office] What a marvelous piece of craftsmanship! Whoever forged this diploma must really take pride in his work. I mean, it looks just like the real thing!
[reassuring Clark that he can trust Carol with his problem] She's cool. I mean, I've hit her with some pretty deep inside the soul type stuff and she's always been rock-n-roll solid with me. And I gotta say, she's opened up to me a few times.
Bendy straws make drinking more pleasurable. I'm phasing out the straights.
S1The Test
[on how he and Nancy can earn money while they both stay home with Sarah] I figure I'll go downtown once a month, maybe work the hotel lobbies, sell my body to aging divorcees.
Well, honey, you really think we can live on thirty-eight cents a month?
If you let me inside, I will take you on a journey of pleasure. Bite the forbidden apple, Carmela. You will find it sweet.
Ed, one of the goals I have set for myself as your legal assistant is to make sure that when you are drinking coffee, and you finish the coffee, your cup is refilled with more coffee.
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