Edd quotes from Ed, Edd n Eddy

Edd

Ed is like a swarm of locusts ready to purge the cul-de-sac and all its good people of their food!

Eddy

Y'know, you scare me when you talk like that.

Edd

Ed, did you know that you've been sleepwalking? And that you've consumed all the food within a five block radius of your bed?

Ed

Not only that, but I feel like I have consumed all the food within a five block radius of my bed. Huh? [sees Edd's half-eaten cactus plant Jim] Oh, Jim got a haircut.

Ed

How's it look, Eddy?

Eddy

Ed, you put the sign on upside-down.

Ed

No Eddy, I put the sign on the garage.

Eddy

Just flip it over, Ed.

Ed

Flip it? Got it.

Edd

Ah...I think I'm ready to tackle anything with my fine assortment of short and long, hard and soft hairbrushes.

Ed

[flips the entire garage over] I flipped it, Eddy.

Edd

Well, I can read it.

Eddy

Ed's Pet 'Boutick' is open for business.

Eddy

Anything good on Double D?

Edd

Ooh there's a documentary on mollusks.

Ed

Boring. How about 'Bob: Defender of the Bunion People'?

Edd

It seems the fly has lodged itself into Eddy's voice box, disabling his ability to talk.

Ed

[plucks one of Eddy's hairs off of his head. Eddy silently yells in pain] Eddy can't talk.

Edd

The brain is an amazing organ, Ed. It's actually fooling me that Eddy's calling out to us.

Ed

Were Rolf's fish sticks good, Double D?

Eddy

Is this thing on?

Edd

Eddy, just speak into the mic.

Eddy

What, this?

Edd

Yes.

Eddy

Okay, okay. Welcome, passengers, I'm Captain Eddy of Eddy's Creek Cruise, where you get more bang for your buck. I'd like you to sit back, relax and enjoy the soothing sounds of 88 fingers Eddward.

Edd

This instrument is so annoying.

Lee

No hard feelings, buttercups.

May

Let's kiss and make up.

Jimmy

[points upward] Oh look!

Marie

That kid's ripping our sail!

Jimmy

Just like Errol Flynn.

Lee

Those were my best bed-sheets. Time for the heavy artillery. [pulls out her hairpin] Sink 'em, May.

May

[putting the pin in a rubber band] Lee, my patch.

Jimmy

Look! Jonny! Save us!

Eddy

I'm the captain here, I'll handle it. Oh look, a bobby pin. So scary. [starts to pull it out]

Edd

Eddy, please don't-

Eddy

What? It's just stuck. [pulls it out. Holding up the hairpin] See?

Rolf

Hello, Ed-boys. When is the next sailing? My flesh begs me for sun and sweat. [Edd hands him the deflated inner tube] What? Huh?

Edd

I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be enjoyable.

Eddy

Alas, the sea is a cruel mistress.

Ed

I'm stumped.

Jimmy

[floating by in the background] Hair emergency! Hair emergency!

Eddy

What we have here...is a squirt gun.

Edd

Please. A 'squirt gun'?

Eddy

Yeah. A Canadian squirt gun.

Ed

Canadians are weird.

Eddy

HEY DOUBLE D!

Edd

Eddy, you know I hate that! Oh, hello, Ed.

Ed

I think I swallowed a turtle.

Eddy

What country are we in?

Edd

We're home, Eddy. And we've broken everything but a record.

Ed

Can I wear a dress again?

Ed

Can I shave them?

Edd

Ed, you don't shave coconuts, you eat them.

Ed

Like report cards?

Ed

Um, Double D, what's this do?

Edd

That's just a coat hanger, Ed.

Ed

Oh. Mum's the word.

Ed

Oh, cool. This reminds me of the movie "Zombies From The Deep Freeze: A cash cow". This is the part where we'll be torn to pieces, stuffed into ice cube trays, and frozen and used to cool their drinks.

Edd

Non-alcoholic, I hope.