Eric quotes from Dungeons & Dragons

Eric

(to Dungeon Master) What's the catch this time, Your Shortness?

Eric, we're lost EVERYWHERE in this World... that's why we have to stick together.

Eric

Ow! What genius stuck a tree in the middle of the hallway?

Presto

Uh, Eric.... (looks around) I think the tree's in the right place, and we're not.

Hank...BOBBI...Presto...Common...Anybody... you know I've scared to be alone

Hank

Some leader I turned out to be...!

Eric

(screams after being trapped by a ghost sheet and turned into a buffon) This isn't funny Presto, do something...

Presto

(panics after his glasses are taken by a flying demon) Hey, my glasses...I CAN'T SEE.

Bobby

(Bobby and Dinah see reflections of themselves..Bobby as a helpless baby and Dinah as a helpless old crone) That's not us is it?...Dinah?

I'm getting OLDER...and you are getting younger.

Presto

Oh no, I am unsure about all of them!

Eric

Presto, for once stop worrying and just concentrate on working a powerful spell. Try summoning an aircraft carrier for instance!

Eric

Well, you did stop them! (above apparently as written in script-but not used)

Eric

Pull something useful out of the that dumb hat..like an aircraft carrier!

Presto

Abra kaDavy! Bring us the United States Navy! (creates an aircraft carrier; demons all hit the stern headfirst)

Hank

Hang on, Eric. Don't you notice anything strange?

Eric

Strange? We're walking through the Valley of Smoke, looking for pickled dragon's feet. What could be strange?

Dungeon Master

The right road is not the left.

Eric

That's the real Dungeon Master, all right.

AAAAAHHHHH!!!

Eric

We're saved! We're saved... (finds they're on a giant wasp)

Eric

WE'RE NOT saved....AAAAAHHHHH!

Bobby

Who closed the opening?

IN ANOTHER WORLD?

Eric

SO what else is new?

If we stay here Venger will destroy our world!

Presto

If we give him our weopons, he'll conquer Dungeonmaster and the Realm!

Eric

(laughs) Those saps can go back if they want to; not me. Nope, I'm home, and I'm staying.... Nothing can make me change my mind-

Venger

Give me that shield.

Eric

(panics) I've changed my mind. Hank, wait for me! (after the kids return to the Realm)

Eric

Hurry ...if we closed the box Venger will be trapped forever.

Hank

No way...He'll be trapped in our world.

Presto

By the time we'd get back..he'll take over the planet.

Presto

Sorry, Eric. My hat doesn't work too well when it's wet.

Eric

Or any other time.

Presto

(to the lost children, seeing Alfore) He's one of you?

Bobby

You're one of him?

(confused noises)

Eric

You guys grow up to be Wookiees?!

Eric

Ha! I wouldn't fly in that thing if Venger was standing right next to me. (Venger comes up behind Eric)

Venger

SEIZE THEM!

Eric

So Pop how long do you think you can get this jalopy up and running again?

Oh not long...say 15 years!

THAT SOON?

Bobby

Sure..we'll get the kid Home!

Bobby that's RUDE...Terri is the same age you are. (Bobby and Terri ride the chicken lizards before falling off)

Bobby

Eric what are you doing?

Eric

Being stupid what else!

Eric

Melted SHUT! THREE GUESSES WHO DID IT!

Bobby

VENGER.

Hank

Wait you guys...Stop it...KNOCK IT OFF.

Venger

Afraid? Be not, you are free to use the portal to enter your World...But first bring her to ME.

YOU WANT HER....COME AND GET HER! (after Bobby carries Terri to the portal)

Bobby

Terri, you go on..through...we staying, we gotta stop this place from TRAPPING ANYONE ELSE.

I'm not going without you.

Bobby

Sorry Terri.

You'll find a way out of this crazy world...Bobby the Barbarian, remember what the Dungeonmaster said to me... (Terri and Fritz go through the portal to the amusement park)

Eric

You're the leader, what do we do?

Hank

The only thing we can do - run!

Eric

(running) I coulda thought of that!