Eric quotes from Dungeons & Dragons

Eric

Go transplant yourself, you walking weed!

Eric

(finds a bag of food) Holy cow! I must be dreaming! Hello? Anyone belong to this food here? (normal) No? Good.

Eric

"Nothing"? First there's something valuable in it, then there's pain and horror in it, and now there's nothing in it! I think there's nothing in his head.

Eric

Oh, I get it: there's something in the box and nothing in the box and the nothing is valuable but the something is horrible, and if we open it in the right place we get nothing, which is good, but if we open it in the wrong place we get something, which is horrible. I love this little guy!

Eric

(to Dungeon Master) What this time, oh terrible tour guide?

Eric

What do you mean, "we"? "We" means us! Me and them! I know who they are! They know who I am! But who are you?!

Eric

Not a chance, Horn-Head! C'mon! Take your best shot! Put up your dukes, let's see what you've got. Only one of us will survive this fight, and it's not gonna be ME! .... That's NOT RIGHT.

Eric

This whole Realm is a dungeon, y'know that? And we're all prisoners. We thought Dungeon Master was our friend, but it turns out he's just another guard.

Eric

Did you hear what he said? No telling what we may run into!

Dungeon Master

[appears from behind a rock] No telling?

Eric

Aaah! Dungeon Master! Do you always have to do that?!

Dungeon Master

No, not always.

(panicked bleating)

Eric

For once, I agree with you, Uni.

I'll take care of them...I think my batteries are dead

Eric

Quick! Under my shield...they'll never break through this...HUH?

Venger

Bow down to your MASTER!

I HAVE NO MASTER!

Eric

Maybe there will be one less dragon?

BUT OUR WEAPONS DON'T WORK!

Presto

Maybe there will be one less Venger!

Hank

It's our fault Silvermane's here; maybe this "trick" gets him back.

Eric

And maybe it gets us ZAPPED BY KELEK!

IT DOES, INDEED.

Venger!

Venger

Greetings, Kelek. Do forgive my... intrusion.

Of course.

Venger

Of course what?

Of course... master.

Venger

That is better. I must thank you, Kelek. For keeping the unicorn horns, for keeping them safe, for ME...

The Horns are MINE! The Power is MINE! NOW YOU SHALL CALL me MASTER!

Eric

Well, what are you waiting for? Just point us the way Home!

I'm afraid it's not that easy.

I knew it, there's always a catch.

Presto

I wonder if we'll ever find a way out of this world.

Dungeon Master

You will one day, Magician. With each brave deed, you grow more worthy. You will be rewarded, in time.

Eric

In time for what - our retirement?

Presto

Where's Dungeon Master when you need him?

Eric

Forget Dungeon Master, we need a SWAT team!