Bobby quotes from Dungeons & Dragons

Bobby

All right, you bag of bones- try picking on somebody my size!

Hank...BOBBI...Presto...Common...Anybody... you know I've scared to be alone

Hank

Some leader I turned out to be...!

Eric

(screams after being trapped by a ghost sheet and turned into a buffon) This isn't funny Presto, do something...

Presto

(panics after his glasses are taken by a flying demon) Hey, my glasses...I CAN'T SEE.

Bobby

(Bobby and Dinah see reflections of themselves..Bobby as a helpless baby and Dinah as a helpless old crone) That's not us is it?...Dinah?

I'm getting OLDER...and you are getting younger.

Bobby

Who closed the opening?

IN ANOTHER WORLD?

Eric

SO what else is new?

So how old are you?

Almost 10.

Gosh so you are allowed to go out on your own? I wasn't allowed to go out on my own until I was....55!

Bobby

55! HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW?

74.

Presto

(to the lost children, seeing Alfore) He's one of you?

Bobby

You're one of him?

(confused noises)

Eric

You guys grow up to be Wookiees?!

Bobby

Sure..we'll get the kid Home!

Bobby that's RUDE...Terri is the same age you are. (Bobby and Terri ride the chicken lizards before falling off)

Bobby

Eric what are you doing?

Eric

Being stupid what else!

Eric

Melted SHUT! THREE GUESSES WHO DID IT!

Bobby

VENGER.

Hank

Wait you guys...Stop it...KNOCK IT OFF.

Venger

Afraid? Be not, you are free to use the portal to enter your World...But first bring her to ME.

YOU WANT HER....COME AND GET HER! (after Bobby carries Terri to the portal)

Bobby

Terri, you go on..through...we staying, we gotta stop this place from TRAPPING ANYONE ELSE.

I'm not going without you.

Bobby

Sorry Terri.

You'll find a way out of this crazy world...Bobby the Barbarian, remember what the Dungeonmaster said to me... (Terri and Fritz go through the portal to the amusement park)

Sheila

(cornered) Uh-oh! End of the road!

Bobby

[Turns] You mean for them.

Hi, Sheila! Hi, Bobby! How did you guys get in my dream?

Sheila

Dream? This is real!

Eric

As soon as you get home, call our parents!

Bobby

Tell them we're okay! Tell them everything's okay!

Hank

We'll be home as soon as we find a portal back!

Wait a minute, are you guys cracked? This is Sunday night, you guys went to the amusement park and I couldn't go because I had homework, remember? And I'm asleep now, and this is just a dream.

Presto

No, no! I-It's real, and we're lost! Tell our parents!

I'm sure! Look, I'll see you in the morning at school, okay? Then you can show me another one of your dumb card tricks, eh, "Presto"? (laughs) See you around, guys. (disappears)

Eric

(imprisoned) "Regular"? We're giant-sized! C'mon! What's the matter with you guys? So we don't have our weapons - we still got our voices!

Bobby

Huh?

Eric

(shouting and banging a plate against the window) I wanna see my lawyer! There's no TV in my cell! What about my phone call? I demand my riiights! [...] ...I've never been in a prison with such bad food! There's no ketchup on my French fries! And there's no French fries! HEY!

Sheila

But how are we going to sneak past those two ugly orcs?

Eric

I hear unicorns make great decoys-

Bobby

(hugging Uni) Forget it!

Bobby

Sis I hate this I don't want to be in this World any more...I want Mom and Dad and my home and friends...

Eric

This is all Venger's fault. We oughta do something about that guy.

Hank

(twists bow, then throws it to the ground) Eric is RIGHT.

Eric

I AM?

Hank

Yeah. And we are going to do something about it.

Eric

We ARE?

Hank

The only chance we have of getting out of this world is if we take care of Venger ONCE AND FOR ALL.

But nobody can beat Venger not even Dungeounmaster...

Hank

There is one creature who can TIAMAT

Eric

YOUR CRAZY...

Hank

Have you got a better idea...? I THOUGHt not

Hank,,TIAMAT the most Dangerous dragon in the Realm..How are we going to persuade her to fight Venger?

IF we get Venger..What will we Do to him once we have him?

Eric

Venger gone ballistic

Venger

GIVE ME YOUr WEAPONS NOW OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES

Hank

Venger. He's blasting the rocks. Trying to get to us.

Bobby

Good. I'm ready for him!

Eric

That's a comfort.

Venger

They are gone BUT WHERE?

Eric

(in the Dragon's Graveyard) Now what?

Hank

Now we find Tiamat.

Eric

(looks around at the skeletons) How do we know which one of these is her?

Presto

Simple, dummy: she'll be the one who attacks us.

Hank

Relax, Bobby. A boy your age shouldn't feel that much hate.

Bobby

I told you all before, don't worry about me... worry about Venger.

Eric

Hold it right there, Captain Shortness! (Bobby turns around) Not you, the other one! This stupid safari's not taking another step until you tell us what's going on!

Dungeon Master

(pauses) We are running, Cavalier! For our very lives!

Eric

(grabs Dungeon Master's shoulder) From what? Come on, this is a joke, right? You're looking at old pros here! We've survived everything this silly Realm's dished out, from five-headed dragons to one-horned Vengers!

Presto

Yeah, everything except triple-eyed, double-fanged, flying purple people-eaters.

Bobby

Are you kidding? I got one of those last week!

Bobby

WHO IS IT OR WHAT IS IT?

His name is not for your ears....He is not life as we know it.

Hank

That thing chased us all the way across the Realm!

Let it END here..One way or another...

Bobby

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE END? SIS WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO US?

This is just a test? YOU are going to save US?