Who the blazes are you?
Call me... [the B.U.D.D.Y. car crashes into him] Gizmoduck!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Have a good day, Mr. McDee.
Nice work today, Launchpad. See you tomorrow.
You're not gonna replace me?
Replace you? Don't be daft. Where would I ever find a driver as crazy and dangerous as I am? Oh! Dewey told me about your driver's license. Congratulations.
[hugs Scrooge] Awww, your approval is all the driver's license I need! [tries to tear the license] Come on!
You should really keep the license.
Gizmoduck... I must have him!
[in a calm tone] Precision. Excellence. Men in funny hats. Welcome to the Duckburg Billionaire's Club Golf Invitational. The only golf tournament to take place on the world's most exotic and expensive courses. This year sees Scrooge McDuck facing off against Flintheart Glomgold, here at scenic Moorshire, the birthplace of golf. I'm Huey Duck, attempting to earn my Junior Woodchuck Merit Badge for Sports Commentary. I'll be here all day providing nuanced analysis-
ARE. YOU. READY FOR SOME GOOOLF?!
[sigh] The badge does require a co-commentator.
Two combatants. One hole. No rules.
That's not actually- WATCH OUT!
Get excited, kids! Golf is in our blood! Your ancestor, "Black Donald" McDuck, actually invented the sport. Of course he lost so badly that the ensuing temper tantrums caused King James to ban golf across all of Scotland.
And we're... proud of that in some way?
I don't know, man. Go-karts? Hitting things really hard with sticks? Not being grounded for said hitting? Sounds kind of awesome!
It's a sport where you try not to score points to make it end sooner. Hard pass.
Trust me, you'll love it.
This lake will be used for the swimming portion of the competition.
Practice all you want, McDuck! You won't be winning this year!
You say that every year, Flinty. And every year, you go home crying.
My eyes dry out very easily! But this year, I'll prove that I am the best Scottish billionaire golfer. I've hired the world's best player to be my caddie!
TGTiger Golfer
Okay, if you want to be a winner, just follow these three rules-
[gasp] I'm already a winner! Nobody tells Flintheart Glomgold what to do! You're fired!
Alright, boy. How would your uncle play this hole?
[clearly uninterested] Uh, just- why don't you hit the ball in the hole? I guess.
Hit the ball... in the hole? Of course! I've been overthinking it this entire time! [drives the ball] Holy haggis! It stayed on the course! It went forward! I'm not on fire! That might be the best shot I've ever taken!
Scrooge, the returning champion, approaching the first hole.
He's probably worried Glomgold will use his one free tackle before the speed round in the third quarter.
What do you think is happening here?
One heck of a game!
Welcome back to the Billionaire's Club Classic, where in a bizarre turn of events, the players have become trapped in some sort of mystical faerie realm.
For more, we go to two tiny horses.
What are you- ah!
[two soaked colorful horses walk up]
BBriar
Greetings! We're Briar, and Bramble, the keepers of this realm.
Talking animals wearing clothes?!
Oh, no, did we die? Are we in Webby heaven?
BBriar
First to complete this course will win the priceless Druid's Cup.
BBramble
Thus proving them to be the finest golfer in every plane of reality.
Ooh!
Uh-huh. Okay. Well, anyone else think we should ignore the murder ponies and go home?
[as Scrooge growls angrily at him] I'm sorry. I just knew I could, so I…
[interrupting] You pull a club out of a Scotsman's hand, you'd best be prepared to knock him out with it!
Hey, I made the shot.
You disobeyed me and risked the entire game with your showboating!
[now offended] I'm showboating?! This whole thing has been about how great you are! You're so worried that someone might actually be better than you at something that you keep…
See here, I am an inter-dimensionally ranked golfer!
Whatever. I'm over this dumb sport anyway. Finish the course so we can go home.
There you have it. Another brash young upstart destined to surpass his aging mentor.
Is the commentary still necessary?
It helps me feel in control during a, frankly, insane situation.
[in a nuanced tone] I like talking this way, 'cause it makes everything sound important. Baloney trampoline.
What's all this?
Hey, guys! Every year I brush up on my survivor skills on a secret island! [Beakley clears her throat] I-I mean, a regular island where young warriors definitely don't combat the forces of nature and each other. You know, it's girl stuff.
[quacking in panic] I GOTTA GO! [gets into his car and drives off]
Why is everyone running off?
[sighs] You would figure it out sooner or later. [whispers] Today is Mr. McDuck's birthday.
[The triplets exclaim in surprise]
Okay, people, we are in crisis party planning mode! Louie, you start a guest list. Dewey…
[interrupting] Absolutely not. Mr. McDuck has a strict no-birthday-party rule. He hates the reminder that he's…
Literally the oldest person he knows?
[Dewey bursts out, laughing, and Huey cracks a smile]
But our most epic relative deserves the most epic party ever!
Oh, I don't know. He hasn't had a good one since before his old butler, Duckworth died.
Like this stuffy old guy could beat the party I threw for the Junior Woodchuck Party Planning Committee. It was both work and play.
[walking out the door] Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you.
[catching up] If I don't come back, tell my story!
Nah, he's gonna love it! Huey's time to shine!
Staff meeting! [drags his brothers and closes the curtains]
I don't think Scrooge wants a party.
That's crazy! There've been a few bumps, but he'll come around. Louie, no schmoozing. Just serve punch. Dewey. Dewey. [sighs] DJ Daft Duck? Here's a list of pre-approved songs with a 90% enjoyment rating. Play these.
Listen, I know planning is your thing, but you're cramping our style. You gotta relax and just ride the party wave.
A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they're loved. Uncle Scrooge has done so much for us! This is our chance to do something for him!
By forcing him to have fun at a party that he doesn't want to be at?
I knew you'd understand.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's DuckTales (2017) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.