[after Huey and Louie beat Storkules at the first trial]
Well done, nephews of Donald! What ingenuity! From henceforth, you shall be known as Hubert, Tamer of Winds, and Llewellyn, Fighter of Storms!
Awesome!
Please do not say my real name out loud.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[as he and Webby battle a sea monster] You hideous monster! I will avenge my mother by killing you with the very spear you're sworn to protect!
SMSea Monster
You shall never get the Spear of Poseidon!
I'm sorry, the Spear of who, now?
SMSea Monster
The Spear of Poseidon!
Man, we got the wrong chamber again!
We're looking for the Spear of Selene.
SMSea Monster
Ohhh, huh. [sets them down] You're gonna wanna go back down the hall, past the Harpy Aviary, third door on your left. Garden of Selene. Can't miss it.
Oh, hey thanks!
Sorry about calling you a hideous monster before. I'm sure you're very attractive by sea monster standards.
SMSea Monster
Not really. Thanks though.
So where's the Spear of Selene, Selene?
SSelene
What spear?
The one Della took from your garden.
SSelene
You mean the Sphere of Selene?
Why does no one get what I'm saying? The Spear of Selene!
SSelene
I've never had a spear. Do you mean the Sword of Selene? That's down the hall-
No! The Spear of Selene! The one my mom took! The one that's our only clue to finding her!
SSelene
Ah, you're Della's kid! I shoulda realized, you're just like her. I'm sorry, I haven't seen her in years, and I don't know what the Spear of Selene is.
So we're back to "she stole Scrooge's spear and betrayed the family" then. Great.
SSelene
What? No way. She loved her family more than anything in the world. Oh, Della wasn't just a good person, she was the greatest, and she made everyone around her better.
Maybe the spear isn't an artifact. Maybe it's something else.
SSelene
Your mom did love a good mystery. [gives Dewey her Sphere] Here. It's not a spear, but it is a treasure even Della never found. Don't give up, young duck. Your mother never did.
I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the little roller skate at the base of villainy's staircase. I am Darkwing Duck!
[Dewey is in Launchpad's garage, eating a fast-food meal and watching an episode of Darkwing Duck on the TV]
[holds up two shirts with mustard and ketchup stains] Big day, Dewey. Mustard stain or ketchup stain?
Mustard. Looks less like blood. What is this weird show?
Whoa, what? Darkwing Duck? The greatest TV show of all time?
Ha! Maybe when you were a kid. This hero guy doesn't shoot lasers or anything.
That hero guy is Jim Starling. He was an old-school actor who did all his own stunts. Sure, he got a little banged up in later seasons.
Keep rolling.
But that just made him even more heroic.
Why didn't he just use CGI?
[chuckles] Real heroes don't need high-tech special effects or basic safety precautions. So, how do I look? [Dewey gives him a thumbs-up; they get in the limo] Remember, Dewey, a true hero thinks with his gut or not at all. [to his Darkwing bobblehead] Right, D.W.?
DBDarkwing Bobblehead
Let's get dangerous.
What's the special occasion, anyway?
I finally got my driver's license!
Uh, wait, what?
How have you been a driver without a driver's license?
Hey, come on. I've got a pilot's license, don't I? [realizes] Wait, don't I?
Ugh. Aren't you worried Scrooge will find out?
You kidding? I had them mail the license straight to him so he'd be first to know. [tears up] Ah, he's gonna be so proud of me. [chuckles] Wow.
[They approach the Money Bin and into the parking lot]
The Bin, The Bin, The Bin! Slow down!
[hits the breaks and the limo spins around and stops in a parking spot] I bet Mr. McD's got some kind of party planned for my big day. Wouldn't want to ruin the… [enters Scrooge's office] Surprise! [the office is empty] Huh. [bursts into the meeting room] Surprise! [the meeting room is also empty; opens a janitor's closet] Supplies? Boy he's really getting my hopes up. The payoff is gonna be amazing.
Intern, try to think.
But that's all I do all the time.
Well, do it better.
Eh, you probably couldn't fit a driver in that tiny train anyway. Uh, say, speaking of drivers…
Gyro, the board needs results. Ever since Bulb Tech backfired, you need an invention that, well…
Won't turn evil and kill us all.
Due respect, sir, innovation doesn't work that way. I can't just wake up one morning and say…
How about a self-driving robot car?
A what now?
Too many variables. A self driving robot car would turn evil like that. Nobody could…
Well, Mark Beaks did. He just posted that he's having a demo later today.
What?! That hack couldn't even program a microwave. We'll see about this.
Okay, cool. I'll just tell you my big news later.
Launchpad, I almost forgot.
Yeah?
Stop having mail delivered to my office. That's for incoming checks and death threats only.
[Everyone is gathered at Waddle headquarters]
Crushed it! It's a hectic world, posting things online, checking to see who liked your post. Couldn't you use a little time for yourself? Couldn't you use a B.U.D.D.Y.? That's the "Beaks-Unmanned-Driver-Drone-Yay!" B.U.D.D.Y. will drive you anywhere quickly, efficiently and cheaply! B.U.D.D.Y. is compatible with any vehicle, making traditional drivers a thing of the past. The Waddle B.U.D.D.Y. system. Because machines are the new man. And hold for applause!
Can you program a robot to brave the unknown and laugh at danger?
Yes.
Can a robot greet you with a kind word at the end of a long day?
Yes.
BUB.U.D.D.Y.
That's a nice. Gray. Cardigan. Mr. Beaks. You are. Killing. It. Today.
Yeah, well, can a robot pull you from the wreckage of a crash with a reassuring smile that tells you everything's gonna be okay?
Well, no, because it can't crash.
Wait, what now? I'm sorry, what was that?
[calling for Fenton] Dummy! There's some dummies here to see you.
At your beck and call, Dr. Gearloose. I heard everything. [notices Manny] Everything. I'm happy to prove my worth by aiding Mr. McQuack.
Forgive Dr. Gearloose. He's a little more deranged than usual trying to figure out how Beaks beat him to the self-driving car.
That won't be a problem once I put that tin can in its place. In the recycling, where the garbage goes.
Woof. We'll work on smack talk later. Right now, we need something to help Launchpad get the edge on B.U.D.D.Y.
Step into my laboratory.
Your lab is in the bathroom?
Dr. Gearloose says this is the perfect place for my work. I'm just now realizing that remark may not have been entirely complimentary. No matter!
Impressive display, Beaks. You have really built something here.
Or did he?! [pops up from behind a standee of himself] I couldn't be sure until I saw how it performed under pressure. The precision, the deadly grace. Oh, yes, I've seen it before. Ha ha! Beaks Tech is actually Bulb Tech! That's how he beat me to the punch! He stole my technology! [to a police officer standee] Officer, arrest this man!
Is this true?
Of course not. I didn't steal it from him. I stole it from a public online forum, then "Beaks'd" it up.
How would one of my inventions end up online? [gazes at Fenton and gasps]
[examines Lil' Bulb; amazed] Oh, wow!
[sharped with anger] You!
You circumvented the kill switch. Why didn't anyone else on the message board figure that out?
[furiously] You posted my top-secret plans on the INTERNET?!?!
You were having so much trouble keeping your inventions from turning evil, so I, turned to the Net to crowd-source a solution? [smiles sheepishly]
[as B.U.D.D.Y. goes haywire] Oh, we need a logic puzzle to fry its circuits! Uh, robot! What is love?
That's stupid! Robot, could I invent an element so heavy even I couldn't lift it?
Ha. I definitely could.
No, you couldn't!
[as the B.U.D.D.Y. car malfunctions]
I may not be Mr. McD's driver for much longer, but he can still count on me to get him where he's going. I'll keep him busy. You figure out a way to get them out of that car.
I think I got something for that. You try corralling them into a ravine, or-
I'll probably just crash into it.
Isn't that really, really unsafe?
Tried playing safe, old friend. Didn't work. [takes out his Darkwing Duck bobblehead figure] Let's get dangerous.
Operating passcode, "Blathering blatherskite!"
These quotes come from Wikiquote's DuckTales (2017) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.