[interrupting a staring contest between Scrooge and Glomgold] Old guys, nice club house you've got here. Got a real "I'm so rich I don't care how I look" quality about it. Rich peeps! [takes a selfie] I'm tagging us.
Seriously? Mark Beaks? Founder and CEO of Waddle? Soon to be newest addition to the Duckburg Billionaires' Club. Come on! And creator of the newest tech innovation, Project Tah-dah! It's everything you think it is, and nothing you're expecting. I'll flip you my Peep deets so you can follow my updates.
ScroogeI don't understand half those words.
Scrooge
[as Glomgold demonstrates a plan to get rid of Mark Beaks via slideshow] Do we really need a slideshow?
Ha! Sweet, naive Scroogy. Leave the devious planning to the professionals. [sudden tone change] You're in MY world now, McDuck.
Scrooge
Yeah, all right. Show me what you've got.
No, you're actually on my side of the room.
Behold! Our scheme to destroy Beaks begins with an invitation to a Billionaires' Convention on a yacht. We'll tell him we're going, BUT THEN WE WON'T SHOW! First slam!
Scrooge
Seems unnecessary, especially the part about the yacht.
Emotionally devastated, Beaks will seek solace and drown his sorrows at the buffet.
Scrooge
A yacht and a buffet for one person? I'm not paying for that.
Fine. We'll use my yacht. Now, distracted by delicious shrimp, Beaks won't realize he's being sailed into an active volcano, where it'll get so hot, he'll jump into the yacht's pool, which, unbeknownst to him, will be FILLED WITH SHARKS!
Scrooge
Where did the Sharks come from?
I've got a great shark guy. Beaks will be so terrified by the sharks, he'll forget he's in a volcano, and jump blindly into the lava! All while we watch from a bridge above.
Scrooge
Wait, wait, I thought we wanted to boot him out of our club, not kill him! Although you have tried to kill me countless times, which usually ends up more annoying than deadly.
That's right, I'm a genius. Now part attention, 'cause this is where it gets complicated.
Scrooge
Isn't there some way you can help us?
AAmunet
[chuckles] I suppose we could just rise up against the all powerful Toth-Ra, bringer of the golden sun. [the followers laugh]
AAmunet
Why? We've got food, water, fresh bandages in lieu of pay, a kind and merciful god-king. What's the outside got that we don't?
Scrooge
Toth-Ra has got you working night and day, while you barely got enough to scrape by.
He doesn't bring you the sun, he keeps it from you!
AAmunet
Sorry, it's just not our way.
Scrooge
Don't you want to feel the sun on your face?
AAmunet
[the followers shrug] Meh.
Scrooge
The wind in your hair?
Scrooge
Don't you want freedom? Or glory? Or- [Launchpad bites into a burrito] Launchpad!
Oh, sorry. I didn't want my belly to grumble and interrupt your big speech. Like I am right now. [takes another bite]
Scrooge
It's bad enough you goof around during the greatest archeological find of our time, but... [realizes the Followers of Toth-Ra are mesmerized by the burrito]
AAmunet
Ohhh, what is that?
Oh, this burrito? Just rice, beans, cheese, your choice of meat, wrapped in a delicious tortilla. [the followers taste the burrito] Mmmm mmmm mmm, delicious!
AAmunet
Where do we get this bo-rrito?
Scrooge
Outside where freedom is!
F1Follower 1
Bo-rritos are outside?
F2Follower 2
We must have bo-rritos!
AAmunet
Rise up against the mighty Toth-Ra!
Scrooge
Seriously? That's what- oh, never mind. Let's break into the temple!
Scrooge
Mt. Neverrest, the highest peak in the world! Most prized of the seven summits, Neverrest has claimed the world's finest explorers. It is said to be completely unclimbable. But now, that smug stack of stalagmites has to deal with Scrooge McDuck!
Okay, so instead of spending Christmas in a billionaire's mansion, waiting for Santa Claus...
Scrooge
That man is not allowed in my home. He knows what he did.
... we're following an old man up Mt. Certain Doom, here?
Oh, Mt. Neverrest is three times deadlier than Mt. Certain Doom.
[looking at a tourist's map of Mt. Neverrest] This map isn't accurate at all! Mountain goats aren't native to this region, and why is the sun wearing sunglasses? Is he looking at another brighter sun?
Scrooge
Don't pay any attention to these tourists, my boy. Nothing not tchotchkes, and cheese puffs. We are real explorers!
Only the greatest mountaineer of the 20th century! Legend has it that Mallardy made it farther up the mountain than anyone, but was lost, trying to rescue an incompetent fellow climber, famously known as the Neverrest Ninny.
[reading a plaque] "George Mallardy. He died as he lived. Freezing."
Scrooge
Ah, stop your hatering. That's just a load of nonsense to sell T-shirts to tourists. We're gonna outdo that quitter Mallardy by making it to the top!
You realize there's a difference between quitting, and dying, right?
Scrooge
Not to me.
Scrooge
Alright, true explorers! Now this mountain is gonna throw everything she's got at us.
But it'll be worth it when we find the treasure of Mt. Neverrest.
Scrooge
There is no treasure of Mt. Neverrest.
.... Nope! Louie out! Already gone. Have fun!
First the ice fever takes your vision. Then it makes you feel all warm and toasty, even though you're freezing to death. Then it makes your limbs all heavy.
Scrooge
Ah, it's just a bit nippy. How did you afford all that gear anyway?
Louie put it on his corporate credit card.
Scrooge
Louie doesn't have a corporate credit card.
Oh. Louie gave me your credit card.
That's it! I'm putting my foot down! We can't go forward.
Scrooge
Oh, of course we can. The summit's right there.
We are violating every rule of my Junior Woodchuck training! We're out of supplies. It's starting to get cold, so even if we make it to the top, we'd freeze to death before we get down! Oh, and we keep trying to go up this way, the whole thing is going to come crashing down! This is all too risky!
Scrooge
Don't you go ninny on me, lad! You'll never get your cartography badge with that attitude!
I don't care! We have to turn around, now!
You already beat Mallardy. Isn't that enough?!
Scrooge
No! We'd be daft to give up with the peak in our grasp.
It's not giving up, it's just having common sense.
Scrooge
For the last time, nothing bad is going to happen.
ZZeus
Ithaquack was the secret vacation spot for gods and heroes, and I was the God of Hospitality, the King of the Beach. Everyone loved me. Then Scrooge showed up, defeated the unkillable Gorgon, found the lost treasure of Troy, was really good at building sand castles, bah!
ZZeus
No, it twasn't! Scrooge showed up like he was so cool and ruined it!
Scrooge
Ugh, jengs. Leave it to an immortal to whine about the good old days.
But that's all I do all the time.
Eh, you probably couldn't fit a driver in that tiny train anyway. Uh, say, speaking of drivers…
Scrooge
Gyro, the board needs results. Ever since Bulb Tech backfired, you need an invention that, well…
Won't turn evil and kill us all.
Due respect, sir, innovation doesn't work that way. I can't just wake up one morning and say…
How about a self-driving robot car?
Too many variables. A self driving robot car would turn evil like that. Nobody could…
Well, Mark Beaks did. He just posted that he's having a demo later today.
What?! That hack couldn't even program a microwave. We'll see about this.
Okay, cool. I'll just tell you my big news later.
Scrooge
Launchpad, I almost forgot.
Scrooge
Stop having mail delivered to my office. That's for incoming checks and death threats only.
Scrooge
Impressive display, Beaks. You have really built something here.
Or did he?! [pops up from behind a standee of himself] I couldn't be sure until I saw how it performed under pressure. The precision, the deadly grace. Oh, yes, I've seen it before. Ha ha! Beaks Tech is actually Bulb Tech! That's how he beat me to the punch! He stole my technology! [to a police officer standee] Officer, arrest this man!
Scrooge
Is this true?
Of course not. I didn't steal it from him. I stole it from a public online forum, then "Beaks'd" it up.
How would one of my inventions end up online? [gazes at Fenton and gasps]
[examines Lil' Bulb; amazed] Oh, wow!
[sharped with anger] You!
You circumvented the kill switch. Why didn't anyone else on the message board figure that out?
[furiously] You posted my top-secret plans on the INTERNET?!?!
You were having so much trouble keeping your inventions from turning evil, so I, turned to the Net to crowd-source a solution? [smiles sheepishly]
DuckTales (2017) · 345 quotes
