Wooldoor quotes from Drawn Together

Spanky

Ooh, live-action poo!

Wooldoor, have you been going into the live-action forest again?

I, um, well, um, brought it home because I thought they'd make nice slippers.

It's an honest mistake.

I shot Live-Action Cow and now she's dead! [Cries]

So tell me, bro, did you... [Whisper's into Wooldoor's ear]

What? Why would I do that? She was my friend!

So she's out there dead in the woods, her milky, white, supple udder just lying there in a remote forest clearing? Dibs! [kicks Clara in the leg and runs off]

It's over. just drop the candy and step away from the ledge.

Please, mister. I didn't mean to do it.

I don't care. I'm telling you, step away or the bitch gets it!

Oh my God!

No! Don't do it!

I'M NOT GONNA SAY IT EVER AGAAAAAAIN!!!

Run! He's gonna kill me no matter what you do.

No, no, no. Don't do it. I give up. Uh!

Take him away. And now to tie up some loose ends. [gunshot]

We're not going to let them destroy us, are we, pledges?

Sir, never, sir!

And to prove it, Xandir, lock yourself in a trunk of a car with this bottle of whiskey and don't come out until it's empty! [Hands Xandir a bottle of "Jack Daniels"]

Xandir

Sir, yes, sir!

And Wooldoor, you tie one end of this rope to your penis and the other around this brick, and then throw it over the balcony!

Sir! Thank you for making my wish come true, sir!

[Puts on a "Make-a-Wish" cap] There goes one brave kid.

[offscreen] I feared Clara would keep me a cripple forever. If only I could tell someone what she was doing.

Hey, Clara. Hey, Wooldoor. How is your healthy patient-Nurse relationship?

Clara's been poisoning--mmf!

What's that?

Foxxy, look behind you! It's Denzel Washington!

Denzel! Oh! Where did Denzel go? I guess Denzel musta have an appointment or something, Denzel very busy.

Uh, look, Foxxy! Denzel came back!

Denzel! Oh, I missed again! He'd moved quickly. Denzel in excellent physical condition.

Hey, I think Wooldoor's trying to communicate through blinkin'.

Look, Foxxy! Denzel came back for an unbelievable third time!

Denzel!

Hello there, Foxxy. Clara's trying keep Wooldoor...

Foxxy, look out in the hall! It's another Denzel Washington, with two penises!

Double-dong Denzel!

Goodbye, asshole! [she pushes Denzel Washington out to the window breaks and he falls] It's just you and me now, Wooldoor. No one's going to save you.

Wait a minute, Clara. There ain't nobody in that hallway but triple dong Wesley Snipes. What is going on here?

Oh, Wooly Bully and I spent another fun-filled day at the Museum of Tolerance. Every time we go, it reminds us that the world's a tolerant place where nothing ever goes wrong.

OH MY GOD!

We've been robbed! [redos everything he just did backwards] Erehw ecalp tnarelot a s'dlrow eht taht su sdnimer ti og ew emit yreve. Ecnarelot fo Muesum eht ta yad dellif-nuf rehtona tneps I & Yllub Yloow, ho. We've been robbed!

It was probably the blacks or the Mexicans.

Wait, I'll go get Clara.

Clara? I'm sick of that Bible-thumping bitch. And besides, what's the fun of a group activity when you can't exclude somebody?

You can say that again.

Shut up, Excludie! Get back in your box!

Aww... [walks off and goes back into his box]

Get out, Excludie! We don't want you!

Aww... [walks off]

Fine, if we must, we must. But before we eat Ling-Ling, let's take a moment to remember the good times.

I’ll always remember our trip to Paris... [The housemates are all seen together in Paris] Guys, this trip has really bringed us together.

Ling-Ling

Yes, Ling-Ling comfortable enough to share greatest fear. No matter what happen, please, no eat Ling-Ling.

And remember when we all got fucking wasted on the roof? [Next the housemates are sitting on the roof looking at the stars] Oh look, a shooting star!

Ling-Ling

Ling-Ling only wish is for roommates not to eat his body when he die.

Oh, and remember that time when Ling-Ling learnt to speak English?

Ling-Ling

[Speaking in English] What's wrong with you people?! Why don't you listen to me? Ling-Ling religion very specific. If body even so dead, he should not be eaten!

Spanky

Well, guys, let's dig in. [Hands out chopsticks] It’s what Ling-Ling would’ve wanted.

DAMN YOU SCROTO! Aww...

His name is Scroto?

Yes.

So that's what your arch-nemesis does?

Yep.

No bank robberies?

Uh-uh.

Or blowing up the planet?

Nope.

He just tricks superheroes into washing his balls?

Not all superheroes. Just me...just me.

What a strange, strange villain.

One house to hold us all.

Eight different cartoon characters.

Letting it all hang out.

In front of one million cameras.

We're Drawn Together!

Yeah!