Yamcha quotes from Dragon Ball Z

Oh, hey, you've got our logo on your jacket. That's my dad's company. Are you one of our employees?

Trunks

No, not exactly. Just a fan.

Oh I see. Well, tell me your name and I'll recommend you to dad.

Trunks

I uh...can't do that. I'm sorry, I know it's strange.

Oh...mystery man!

Tien

Is his shoe size a secret too?

Yamcha

Yeah! Why can't I have a secret name!? That's not fair! I bet you have a secret spy decoder ring too!

Krillin

[Goku arrives in a space pod] Boom! What a landing! I hope he has some air bags in that baby!

Yamcha

Why? To protect the ship from Goku's head?

Krillin

[Bulma is holding baby Trunks] Heh, I hope you don't think I'm nuts for asking, but what's the deal with the baby Bulma?

Is it your son Yamcha? I'll bet he is.

Yamcha

Heh. He's not my kid.

Krillin

Huh?

Yamcha

Well, if you think that's a shock, just wait. Wait until she tells you who the father really is.

Krillin

Huh?

Uh?

Ha ha ha. I'll bet it's Vegeta, isn't it? [tapping baby Trunks] Right Trunks?

Krillin

Uhh?

Ehh?

Now who told you that Goku? I wanted to keep it a secret. I was going to surprise you guys.

[laughing from panic] Aha ha ha ha ha ha...well, actually...I just thought I'd take a guess. I mean, he kind o' looks like Vegeta. Aha ha ha ha ha ha...

You guessed his name too.

Yeah...what are the chances of that, huh? Maybe I'm psychic.

Yamcha

It looks like we'll be at Master Roshi's island in no time. Oh and Krillin, don't you think we'd better tell Bulma what we're up to?

Krillin

Good idea. Wait, are you saying that I should call her? No way!

Yamcha

Come on Krillin. I'm flying the plane here. Thanks buddy.

Krillin

Alright. [to Trunks] No offence man, your mom's just hard to deal with sometimes.

Trunks

Heh heh heh. Believe me. I know what you mean.

Oolong

Hey, wait a minute. If those androids are going to Goku's house first and they don't find him there, isn't this the next obvious place to look?

Yamcha

Yeah, probably. That seems logical enough.

Oolong

Then what are we doing waiting around here like sitting ducks?! When they get here, we're finished!

Krillin

[after Krillin talks to Bulma on the phone] It's Bulma. She wants us to watch somethin' on TV.

Why? She gonna be on a show?

Oolong

Yeah, and now she wants us all to watch so she can brag about how famous she is...

Yamcha

Ha ha ha ha. Probably.

Hey, telephone guys! Collect call. It's Bulma.

Yamcha

Don't accept.

Oh come on guys. It's urgent. She's figured out a way to disable the androids.

What!? Accept the charges!

Krillin

[same time] Accept the charges!

Tien

[same time] Accept the charges!

Yamcha

[same time] Accept the charges!

I heard all that! Well I guess I'll still let you guys use the remote I invented that disables the androids circuits but only if mister loudmouth "don't accept the charges" Yamcha agrees to give yours truly a foot massage.

Krillin

Gosh, I don't know Bulma.

Well, that's the deal so you can take it, or leave it.

Yamcha

She knows that I can't stand rubbing her feet!

Yamcha

Man, fifty channels and nothing. What's this world coming to?

How can you guys watch TV? I can't stop thinking about Tien and the others.

Well, when Goku's your husband and Gohan's your son, you can either let it all go or worry yourself to death. So...I'm trying to let it all go.

I thought you were just being heartless.

Can anyone he wants enter the competition?

Trunks

He'll take on anyone who challenges him. And he expects to have a battle with each of us...one by one.

Of course. You know what he's trying to do. I do. His plan is to eliminate the competition once and for all.

Yamcha

Well, I kind o' like the idea of another martial arts tournament. I mean, hey. I think I'll dominate.

Yeah! Let's get 'im!

Yamcha

Yeah!

Oolong

Just make sure you don't get another hand through your stomach.

But why would Cell host a tournament?

Yamcha

Yeah, why? I mean if he wants to rule the world, why is he wasting time with this competition?

Trunks

Cell doesn't want to rule the world. He wants to destroy it.

Yamcha

Uh...?

Huh?

Trunks

The androids have never been interested in power. It's just that they find pleasure in causing fear and chaos. And Cell's no different. He's using this stupid tournament as a way to spread fear.

Krillin

Hey, I'm kind o' lookin' forward to this tournament. It could be fun. Heh heh heh.

Vegeta

Go out and play if you want. But leave Cell to me. Because I don't want anyone getting in my way. Do you understand?

Yamcha

That's a lot o' talk for someone who got pounded by Cell, don't you think?

[while training with Krillin, Yamcha kicks Krillin's head and falls backward] Be careful Yamcha. Krillin's head is pretty slippery.

Yamcha

Wow Krillin. I think your head is your secret weapon.

Krillin

Yeah, maybe. But you bruised my brain.

Yamcha

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Come on, don't be a wimp. Your head is as hard as a rock.

Krillin

Hey pal! Are you makin' fun of me!?

Yamcha

I sure am! [Yamcha kangaroo kicks Krillin in the face]

Piccolo

[after Trunks suggests that Goku take a senzu bean] We will wait.

Trunks

We'll wait for what? He needs a senzu bean!

Vegeta

Quiet, boy! Where is your honor!? Like all pure-blooded Saiyans, Kakarot would rather die fighting than win with one of those disgraceful senzu beans as his crutch! Kakarot trained in the hyperbolic time chamber just as we did! Now let's see what he can do!

Trunks

No, we can't. Goku doesn't have the strength. Don't you see what will happen if he keeps going like this?

Vegeta

If this goes on...then he will die.

Trunks

Uh!

Tien

Uh!

Yamcha

Uh!

Vegeta

But, that will be his decision. It is painfully clear at this point that no one among this group is stronger than Kakarot is. Not even myself. So he deserves to have the fight of a true warrior. And that means...to the death!

Trunks

While we all just stand here and watch? I won't be part of it!

Vegeta

Aren't you the one who has never stopped talking about how great a hero Kakarot is? If you have so much faith in him, then wait and see what he will do.

Krillin

[to Goku, after Goku tosses a senzu bean to Cell] Okay, it's official! You've completely lost it!

Look, Cell's kind of worn out right now. It just wouldn't be fair if Gohan beats him when he isn't at his best, you know.

Yamcha

That...that's Cell up there! Who really cares about being fair!?

Cell

[to himself, about Goku] Heh heh heh heh heh. What a fool. Doesn't he realize...? The only thing he's managed to do here is ensure his son's demise.

Cell

[to Gohan] Ten more seconds and the Earth will be gone. I guess we'll call this game a draw!

[Cell is about to explode] Hey, you put up a good fight, Gohan. I'm proud of you.

What? Daddy?

Take care of your mother for me. She needs you. Tell her that I had to do this, Gohan.

Ah!

Goodbye, my son.

Piccolo

Goku!

Cell

No! Don't! [Goku uses his instant transmission to teleport the exploding Cell away from Earth]

No! Come back!

Krillin

Goku!

Vegeta

Uh!

Piccolo

Ah!

Trunks

Uh!

Yamcha

Ah!

Tien

Uh!

[Goku teleports to King Kai's planet with the exploding Cell] Aah! Goku! What have you done? Are you out of your mind?

Sorry guys. This is the only place I could think to bring him.

Well, you could've called first!

Cell

Aah! Aah! [Cell explodes, killing Goku, King Kai, Bubbles, and Gregory along with him]