Do you miss your husband Jean/
Mmm.. I miss the company. I'm not cut out for being on my own. If I say something like 'I'm a fool I left those tomatoes on the back seat.' It's nice if there's someone there going 'have you?'
S2 E7Minnellium
S2 E8Christine
(about Christine) She's fascinated with what she calls "The City Beyond the Shining Water".
Halifax?
Who's that?
That's Christine.
And what's that smell?
That's Christine as well.
(about the smell) Have a whiff of raw bacon, it takes the edge off it.
Who was it? Christine?
Yeah. Might be nerves.
Might be mushy peas!
(to Dolly) Your aura is amethyst. Mine's white, the next one up, we have a bond.
And this is Jean.
(to Jean) No there's no spark there. You're hardly showing an aura at all.
(about the possibility of Petula coming to live with them) We've got one whiffy old headcase at work, we don't need another one when we get home.
You're quite shallow, aren't you Brenda. No offense meant!
No, but lots taken.
(as she and Tony watch the social worker talking to Bren in the office) Oh, flip. She's patting Bren's hand.
Is that bad?
Fatal. Empathy. Sympathy. Just like the Gestapo. Then WHAM! There you are installing a stair lift!
Whifforama!
And I often find very cheap coffee can provoke an unscheluded bowel movement
There are no mugs on the other side
S2 E9Gravy
What ward am I on?
PParamedic
8.
It's mixed isn't it?
PParamedic
Yes.
Oh, might have a bit of sex. Though after Richard E Grant you don't really want to bother with a load of shagged-out pensioners.
(Petula has just told everyone that she has three weeks to live)
Surely they'll have drugs
Oh, I think so. Brian's got a few contacts - oh, you mean hospital drugs!
When our neighbour died, when the (she draws a box in mid air)
Coffin?
Went through the (mimes looking through curtains and draws them in mid air as well)
Curtains?
They played the theme music from Countdown!
Did it make you cry?
No, I never watch it!
(after the ambulance men leave an old woman in a wheelchair in the canteen) I wouldn't get too close, Bren, there could be two slap heads under that blanket!
Do you mean smackheads?
There could be two drug addicts under that blanket, ready to leap out!
Jean: They'd have to be pretty small!
They are small! Once people are on heroin, square meals fly out of the window, it was in the Daily Mail!
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