OK, you got what you came for, you know who he hangs around with, now time to stop.
S5We're So Happy You're So Happy
You're probably right, it's just, did you know Porter writes poetry?
Seriously?
Yeah, our Porter, the kid who communicates with grunts and shrugs, writes this beautiful, heartwrenching poetry.
S5Kids Ain't Like Everybody Else
(to Bree about Benjamin) You gave him meat and told him to lie?!!
Are you saying Juanita is fat for her age?
Gaby, Juanita is fat for your age.
Look at my life, Susan. I've been beaten down.
Well, I thought I had you beaten today and the next thing I knew, I was eating grass.
Today doesn't count. Today I was mad.
Maybe you need to get mad more often.
[to Andrew] I took the car to the mechanic's who told me the radiator's shot.
Oh, that, yeah. It's been giving me trouble for years. Just use the jar.
What jar?
It's in the truck. You just keep it full of water and when the radiator reheats, you fill it up. Oh, and try not going uphills and stay in the shade as much as possible.
I can't drive around avoiding gravity and the sun!
[to Susan] You attacked my child and then me. Why should I even listen to you?
I brought booze.
Come on in.
[to Lynette] You know what a midlife crisis is?
I'm married to a 45 year old man who has a red convertible. Yeah, I think I know.
S5Back in Business
What: Mommy rides Daddy like a mechanical bull for jewelry?
CSCelia Solis
Sperm!
Juanita, stop talking to your sister!
S5Mirror, Mirror
[to Dave] Stop screwing with me!
You planned this whole thing. The party... breaking into my house... my reaction. You're trying to get rid of me.
Yes... and I'm sorry it had to be you.
'Cause I know you're up to something. Something awful.
You don't know what "awful" is. Well... you take care of yourself, Karen. I mean that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Desperate Housewives pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.